Curiously, yesterday my spam email included an announcement of Jesus’s return. The email was very long, so I’ll give about a quarter of it below. The funny thing is that I saw Jesus in the CVS store on the very same day! (See below; I had the presence of mind to take a photo.)
Coincidence? I think not—not when it comes to The Lamb of God.
Here. Jesus is apparently a senior white woman, and thus has to wear identification. We have mixed up her pronouns all these centuries:
Eliyah Lap<eliyah.lap@aol.com>
Good day,
The Return of Yeshua (Jesus Christ) is very Near! Are we ready?Le retour de Yéshua (Jésus-Christ) est très Proche ! Sommes-nous prêts(es) ?BibleMiracle.wordpress.comTomorrowsWorld.orgMondeDemain.orgEliyah.jimdosite.comMountainOfFire.orgMFMottawa.caDKOebooks.comJesusFilm.orgBibleHub.comFaithComesByHearing.comGlobalRecordings.netElMundoDeManana.orgYHWH2033.blogspot.comJesusChrist1.tv (Youtube)Youtube = Dà youpké Shupamöm.Amen ! Alleluyah !The Rapture of the Church !L’enlèvement de L’Église !Yésu yitna ! Christ arrive. Christ is arriving. . . .
The email goes on and on and on and on and on. . . I guess you can’t give the Good News too many times!
I like the meme where there’s an Uber notification that Jesus is arriving.
Well …
Apple made a touch-screen Mac…
… in complete contradiction of what Steve Jobs said about vertical touch-screens …
🚩CONTRADICTIONS🚩
🚩UNIFICATION OF OPPOSITES🚩
I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s just a picture of a woman (ostensibly, who can be sure these days?) in a Jesus t-shirt. Jesus is Jewish, not black. So.
Is Jesus back? JESUS is on her back!