This article from The Piedmont Clearinghouse MAY be a spoof. I don’t know, but if so it’s a bad spoof because a spoof will eventually let you in on the joke. Certainly many of the readers took it seriously, and the author doesn’t suggest it’s a spoof in the comments. To be sure, it is humorous, and maybe that’s the key to the fact that it’s tongue-in-cheek. You be the judge.
It touts dgs as better pets than cats, but in fact cats are not “pets”; rather, we are their staff (we could be considered cats’ pets!). That is not the case for the obsequious dg. So even at the get-go Zack Morris is just dead wrong.
Click screenshot to read.
Some excerpts:
One of the most reliable cultural memes of the last hundred years or so is whether a dog or a cat is the better domestic pet. Everybody likes to debate it. This feels, in the main, very dumb. It is really inconceivable that a cat could ever be considered a better pet than a dog. Cats are awful. They are really terrible pets from start to finish. There is virtually nothing a cat does well that a dog doesn’t do much better, and there are countless things that cats do terribly, even horribly, that cat defenders hold up as positives rather than obvious negatives.
Up front let’s identify the one virtue cats possess over dogs: They can often catch mice and rats and other pests very well. This is a great skill. But it’s also something better suited to a working farm, or a wharf, or maybe a prison complex. I’m not saying it’s not a good skill for a pet to have, but look, if your house is being overrun with mice and rats, you’ve got bigger problems than the dog-vs-cat debate. You have to deal with that on a structural level. A cat can kill a lot of rodents in one day, which is great. But also, maybe you should clean up your house a bit, sweep up the crumbs and pick up the burger wrappers and whatnot. Then you won’t have so many mice to deal with anyway. If you do that—if you make your home less inviting to vermin—then you’ll just naturally have fewer mice and rats running around, and the cat’s one tactical advantage more or less vanishes.
Thus on an even footing, a cat will lose this endless debate, and a dog will win. A dog is overwhelmingly just better suited as a human companion. Of course, people like to try and qualify this in all sorts of ways. “It depends on your lifestyle and needs!” “It really depends on your personality!” “It depends on what kind of pet you want!” That’s really the point, though: You shouldn’t want a cat, any more than you should want to live in a mud hovel or eat raw slugs for dinner. Some things are objectively not good!
The main point is this: The idealized dog is a good, affectionate, fun, loyal pet. I say “idealized” as a qualifier, because of course bad dogs exist, but in truth it’s really not that hard to create the idealized dog. Some dogs are smarter and others are dumber, some are more eager to serve and other are just looking to loll about, but if you fulfill a few certain obligations for a dog—if you get it pretty young, feed it well, train it even moderately, play with it, give it decent living conditions, keep it reasonably stimulated—then it will almost certainly be a good pet. The same is not true for cats, none of whom you can really train beyond teaching it to shit in a box, inside your home, which you then have to shovel out yourself as if you are the cat’s personal valet. (We’ll get to that.)
- “It’s independent!”
- “Cats make you work for it!”
- Cats shit and piss in a box inside your house.
- Cats bite and scratch for no reason at all.
- “He wouldn’t come near me for a week!”
He doesn’t seem to dwell on the fact that you have to haul yourself out of bed every morning and take the dog out so it can poop, then picking up the poop with a plastic bag. I could go on and on about this, but won’t. Readers will either agree or not. At any rate, here’s the ending:
Again: These really reprehensible behaviors and personality traits are largely held up as good things about cats. Even in the case of the litter box, meanwhile, it is seen as a point of pride how effectively one masks the smell of cat waste in one’s one home, rather than a source of shame and chagrin that one even has to be doing it in the first place.
I guess I am ultimately not sure why anyone would want a cat at all, at least not when a dog could provide every good benefit that a cat infrequently provides—companionship, entertainment, etc—without all of the chronic downsides to catdom. Why opt for something worse when you could have something better? “Pick the one right tool.” Embrace the dog!
If nothing else, at what point can we just admit that cats are very bad pets and dogs are almost universally better? Why is there even the faintest debate over this? When will this madness end?
The only relevant question is this: “Which makes you happier: a cat or a d*g? For me the answer is clear.
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Now one could add that there are seeing-eye dgs and emotional support dgs, but not seeing-eye cats or emotional support cats. But the former assertion comes from dgs having being bred to do what humans want (question: could cats have been bred that way? I doubt it, and it goes along with the lack of sociality of wild cats versus the nearly obligatory sociality of wild dgs.). But there are indeed emotional support cats, as outlined in this article from petful.com, which you can read by clicking below. The thing is, an emotional support cat doesn’t have to do any tasks save be there, allow itself to be petted and hugged, and sometimes purr. That’s not too much to ask.
A few excerpts:
How Emotional Support Cats Sense our Needs
After my dad’s heart attack, my grandmother got me a comforting companion, Alexander, a lanky red tabby. He stayed by my side through that strange, uncertain time, and even after Dad returned home, Alexander remained my go-to feline. Although he lived outside with our other cats, my brothers always brought him to me whenever I was sick or hurt.
Since Alexander, many emotional support cats have filled this role, sensing my needs even before I realized them. Here’s how these cats offer emotional support:
- Attentiveness to Emotions: Cats who form close bonds with their owners often become attuned to their human’s feelings.
- Natural Comforting Behaviors: Some cats instinctively respond with comforting actions, such as sitting close or gently nuzzling.
- Adaptability in Domestic Spaces: Indoor cats, in particular, develop behaviors that help them connect more closely with their humans.
As Patricia Fry observes, their cats try to console them when they’re unhappy, and indoor cats often reflect comforting characteristics due to this close connection.
The Comforting Legacy of Emotional Support Cats
Despite some misconceptions, emotional support cats have a history of providing comfort to humans. Here are a few stories showcasing their unique ability to console and uplift:
- Hima’s Gentle Comfort: A plushy gray cat named Hima consoles her young owner, who has just hurt her foot. Hima responds instinctively, nuzzling and gently patting the child as if caring for a kitten in distress.
- Historical Figures and Their Cats:
- Abraham Lincoln: Even during the Civil War, Lincoln found solace by rescuing three kittens while visiting General Ulysses S. Grant’s headquarters.
- Florence Nightingale: Struggling with chronic brucellosis and depression, Nightingale found companionship and comfort from her cats, whose paw prints marked her personal papers.
- Edgar Allan Poe: Although his life was often plagued with hardship, Poe’s tortie cat, Catterina, provided comfort by sitting on his shoulder, “purring as if in complacent approval” as he worked.
- Modern View of Cats as Therapists: Today, furry therapists like emotional support cats are recognized for their calming influence. Though dogs are typically chosen for therapy, cats remain invaluable due to their intuitive, independent nature, often comforting people in ways dogs cannot.
These examples illustrate how cats have provided companionship and relief, offering therapeutic support across generations.
The Unique Role of Emotional Support Cats in Therapy:
While dogs are often chosen as therapy animals, emotional support cats play a unique and irreplaceable role in therapeutic settings, particularly for individuals with complex emotional needs.
- Limitations of Dogs in Therapy: According to Animal-Assisted Therapy Programs of Colorado, dogs are excellent for initial therapy due to their accepting and non-judgmental nature. However:
- Dogs may struggle to set boundaries, which can be challenging for clients dealing with social skills or family issues.
- Unlike dogs, cats do not tolerate poor behavior, which can encourage healthier interactions and reinforce boundaries.
- Support for PTSD and Trauma: Cats have a special capacity to comfort people with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and trauma. In one instance, a woman described how her cat, Simon, became her emotional anchor following a traumatic event. She would often wake up in distress, only to find Simon gently “licking her tears,” offering solace that helped her reconnect with the world.
Emotional support cats provide a balance between comfort and boundaries, making them invaluable companions for individuals facing deeper emotional challenges.
The other sections are called “Emotional Support Cats: Companions for Seniors”, “Emotional Support Cats: A Matchmaking Service for Companionship”. And there’s a short video captioned, “Watch Hima comfort her sad human”. The YouTube caption is this:
Contrary to popular perception, cats can be as loving as other pets. Take, for instance, Hima, a cat from Japan who is currently winning hearts on social media for the way she comforts her crying owner. When Hima’s owner, a little girl, hurt her foot on a chair and started crying, she tried to comfort her with some loving cuddles. The video, which has received over 9 lakh views on Imgur, shows Hima, a Russian blue cat, snuggling up to her owner as she cries in pain. Watch the unbearably adorable video below on Hima’s own Instagram, where she has over 2,600 followers.
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Finally, as it turned Yule yesterday (the first day of winter), it’s appropriate to learn about the Yule cat, which is not an emotional support cat but an Icelandic legend about a killer cat! First, a tweet:
The icelandic cat who eats those who are not wearing their new clothes.
The Jólakötturinn, or the Yule Cat is a monstrously large creature from Icelandic folklore that is said to roam the snowy countryside during Christmas, with a particular appetite for anyone who has not… pic.twitter.com/hdaZJ0CDwn
— Massimo (@Rainmaker1973) December 14, 2025
Click below to read about Jólakötturinn at The Great Cat site, your go-to site for all things Cat.
I can’t embed it, but it has photos and drawings. You can also read about it in Wikipedia, and I’ll give a few excerpts:
The Yule cat (Icelandic: Jólakötturinn, Icelandic pronunciation: [ˈjouːlaˌkʰœhtʏrɪn], also called Jólaköttur[1]) is a huge and vicious cat from Icelandic folklore that is said to lurk in the snowy countryside during the Yule season and eat people who do not receive new clothing. In other versions of the story, the cat only eats the food of the people who had not received new clothing. Jólakötturinn is closely associated with other figures from Icelandic folklore, considered the pet of the ogress Grýla and her sons, the Yule Lads.
The first definitive mention of the Yule cat is from an 1862 collection of folklore by Jón Árnason, Íslenzkar þjóðsögur og æfintýri. It was described as an evil beast that would either eat those who did not get new clothes for Christmas, or eat their “Christmas bit” (an extra portion of food given to residents of a farm). Jón gave no source for either story.[2][3]
. . . . The Yule cat was traditionally used as a threat and incentive for farm workers to finish processing the wool collected in the autumn before Christmas. Those who took part in the work were rewarded with new clothes, but those who did not would get nothing and thus would be prey for the Yule cat.
. . . The establishment of the Yule cat as part of classic Icelandic Christmas folklore came in 1932, when Jóhannes úr Kötlum published his poetry collection Jólin koma (lit. ‘Christmas is Coming‘). One of the poems, Jólakötturinn, centered on the eponymous man-eating monster which subsequently became a common part of Christmas festivities and decorations in Iceland
You can see Kölum’s poem at the “Legend of the Yule Cat” site above; it’s too long for me to reproduce here.
Here’s a three-minute video explaining and showing the Yule Cat:
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Lagniappe. First, a meme.
Still more lagniappe: Hispanic cats injure Jesus and his family, as well as the Good Shepherds. They have no respect, for they are cats. Sound up.
More lagniappe from ISTANBUL! This is more or less what you’ll see if you go there.
And even more lagniappe: free accommodations on a Greek island if you take care of kitties!
h/t: Thomas, Nicole, Marion, Ginger K., Cate, Reese
“The author then further describes an idealized dog, which more or less resembles the kind of associate Donald Trump would like: an obsequious creature who jumps all over you, licking you and making you feel like you’re the BEST PERSON.”
Indeed. A d*g is a sycophant. A cat keeps you on the straight and narrow.
When did our cats bite? When we pet them in the wrong direction. The have their boundaries. I’m OK with that.
Thank you for today’s Caturday feature!
Nice collection. 🐈🐈🐈
I like them both (cats and d*gs) as affectionate and personality-filled pets that bring the best out of people.
“There is virtually nothing a cat does well that a dog doesn’t do much better…”
Well, “virtually” is doing a lot of work there. The one huge and over-riding difference is that YOU CAN’T JUST PUT OUT A GIANT BOWL OF FOOD FOR YOUR DOGS AND GO AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND, SECURE IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT ALL WILL (probably) BE WELL WHEN YOU RETURN!!!!!
“They are not like people but more like Karoline Leavitt.”
Excellent burn.
A few more advantages of The Best Pet
● Cats don’t bark
● Cats don’t have vomitous stink-breath
— in fact, a healthy cat smells good all over (unless s/he’s got a dingleberry)
● Cats are sweet without being obsequious (already mentioned but bears repeating)
● Cats are natural acrobats, yogis, traceurs, and ninjas
● CATS ARE BEAUTIFUL
Cats win, although some well trained dogs can be bearable. Not the yappy dogs though. Or the drooling ones. Or the ones that hump your legs. Or the snuffly ones. Or the ones that fart all the time. Or the ones that need constant washing. Or the ones you have to brush every day. Get my drift! 😂
The most beautiful dog is a hungarian puli. I’d like a white one. But only if I can afford to employ somebody to keep washing and brushing it. Which means I’m never going to have one.
I’ll stick with cats, any breed, although I think it would be fun to swim with a Turkish Van.
All companion animals are emotional support animals. My kittehs got me through 2 cross-USA moves, several jobs, deaths in my (human) family, and serious illnesses. I don’t know what would have done without my beloved feline family.
When I watched the Yule Cat video, YT recommended this video of Bjork singing an Icelandic song about Yule Cat: https://youtu.be/a4xG6hQWsno?si=gCObARjsEKP97Xxq .
And where is Ule Cat when we need her? Many children in Washington, DC, have been VERY naughty…