Robert G. Ingersoll was known as “The Great Agnostic,” but today they’d call him “The Great Atheist.” He was the Christopher Hitchens of his time: a great orator, thinker, and eraser of religion, and, unlike Hitchens, uniformly kind. He was also a lawyer and the Attorney General of Illinois. D. J. Grothe reproduced one of his writings, “A Thanksgiving Sermon” on Grothe’s public Facebook page, and I reproduce it here from the New Orleans Secular Humanist Association. It could be renamed “Enlightenment Now”!
Notice that several scientists, including Darwin, get the nod.
A Thanksgiving Sermon
Whom shall we thank? Standing here at the close of the 19th century — amid the trophies of thought — the triumphs of genius — here under the flag of the Great Republic — knowing something of the history of man — here on this day that has been set apart for thanksgiving, I most reverently thank the good men. the good women of the past, I thank the kind fathers, the loving mothers of the savage days. I thank the father who spoke the first gentle word, the mother who first smiled upon her babe. I thank the first true friend. I thank the savages who hunted and fished that they and their babes might live. I thank those who cultivated the ground and changed the forests into farms — those who built rude homes and watched the faces of their happy children in the glow of fireside flames — those who domesticated horses, cattle and sheep — those who invented wheels and looms and taught us to spin and weave — those who by cultivation changed wild grasses into wheat and corn, changed bitter things to fruit, and worthless weeds to flowers, that sowed within our souls the seeds of art. I thank the poets of the dawn — the tellers of legends — the makers of myths — the singers of joy and grief, of hope and love. I thank the artists who chiseled forms in stone and wrought with light and shade the face of man. I thank the philosophers, the thinkers, who taught us how to use our minds in the great search for truth. I thank the astronomers who explored the heavens, told us the secrets of the stars, the glories of the constellations — the geologists who found the story of the world in fossil forms, in memoranda kept in ancient rocks, in lines written by waves, by frost and fire — the anatomists who sought in muscle, nerve and bone for all the mysteries of life — the chemists who unraveled Nature’s work that they might learn her art — the physicians who have laid the hand of science on the brow of pain, the hand whose magic touch restores — the surgeons who have defeated Nature’s self and forced her to preserve the lives of those she labored to destroy.
I thank the discoverers of chloroform and ether, the two angels who give to their beloved sleep, and wrap the throbbing brain in the soft robes of dreams. I thank the great inventors — those who gave us movable type and the press, by means of which great thoughts and all discovered facts are made immortal — the inventors of engines, of the great ships, of the railways, the cables and telegraphs. I thank the great mechanics, the workers in iron and steel, in wood and stone. I thank the inventors and makers of the numberless things of use and luxury.
I thank the industrious men, the loving mothers, the useful women. They are the benefactors of our race.The inventor of pins did a thousand times more good than all the popes and cardinals, the bishops and priests — than all the clergymen and parsons, exhorters and theologians that ever lived.
The inventor of matches did more for the comfort and convenience of mankind than all the founders of religions and the makers of all creeds — than all malicious monks and selfish saints.
I thank the honest men and women who have expressed their sincere thoughts, who have been true to themselves and have preserved the veracity of their souls.
I thank the thinkers of Greece and Rome. Zeno and Epicurus, Cicero and Lucretius. I thank Bruno, the bravest, and Spinoza, the subtlest of men.
I thank Voltaire, whose thought lighted a flame in the brain of man, unlocked the doors of superstition’s cells and gave liberty to many millions of his fellow-men. Voltaire — a name that sheds light. Voltaire — a star that superstition’s darkness cannot quench.
I thank the great poets — the dramatists. I thank Homer and Aeschylus, and I thank Shakespeare above them all. I thank Burns for the heart-throbs he changed into songs. for his lyrics of flame. I thank Shelley for his Skylark, Keats for his Grecian Urn and Byron for his Prisoner of Chillon. I thank the great novelists. I thank the great sculptors. I thank the unknown man who molded and chiseled the Venus de Milo. I thank the great painters. I thank Rembrandt and Corot. I thank all who have adorned, enriched and ennobled life — all who have created the great, the noble, the heroic and artistic ideals.
I thank the statesmen who have preserved the rights of man. I thank Paine whose genius sowed the seeds of independence in the hearts of ’76. I thank Jefferson whose mighty words for liberty have made the circuit of the globe. I thank the founders, the defenders, the saviors of the Republic. I thank Ericsson, the greatest mechanic of his century, for the monitor. I thank Lincoln for the Proclamation. I thank Grant for his victories and the vast host that fought for the right, — for the freedom of man. I thank them all — the living and the dead.
I thank the great scientists — those who have reached the foundation, the bed-rock — who have built upon facts — the great scientists, in whose presence theologians look silly and feel malicious.
The scientists never persecuted, never imprisoned their fellow-men. They forged no chains, built no dungeons, erected no scaffolds — tore no flesh with red hot pincers — dislocated no joints on racks, crushed no hones in iron boots — extinguished no eyes — tore out no tongues and lighted no fagots. They did not pretend to be inspired — did not claim to be prophets or saints or to have been born again. They were only intelligent and honest men. They did not appeal to force or fear. They did not regard men as slaves to be ruled by torture, by lash and chain, nor as children to be cheated with illusions, rocked in the cradle of an idiot creed and soothed by a lullaby of lies.
They did not wound — they healed. They did not kill — they lengthened life. They did not enslave — they broke the chains and made men free. They sowed the seeds of knowledge, and many millions have reaped, are reaping, and will reap the harvest: of joy.
I thank Humboldt and Helmholtz and Haeckel and Buchner. I thank Lamarck and Darwin — Darwin who revolutionized the thought of the intellectual world. I thank Huxley and Spencer. I thank the scientists one and all.
I thank the heroes, the destroyers of prejudice and fear — the dethroners of savage gods — the extinguishers of hate’s eternal fire — the heroes, the breakers of chains — the founders of free states — the makers of just laws — the heroes who fought and fell on countless fields — the heroes whose dungeons became shrines — the heroes whose blood made scaffolds sacred — the heroes, the apostles of reason, the disciples of truth, the soldiers of freedom — the heroes who held high the holy torch and filled the world with light.
With all my heart I thank them all.
Here’s Ingersoll photographed by Mathew Benjamin Brady, (Public domain via Wikimedia Commons):
That (ca. 1897) is the most based blessing I’ve encountered. Hear hear, and cheers.
I’ll refrain from highlighting any esoteric or spiritual dimension to it. For as we know :
“Out of the crooked timber of humanity, no straight thing was ever made”
Immanuel Kant
1784
Thanks!
I’ll read this in a bit, but in the meantime, I was watching Baby Trump’s Thanksgiving in the White House. Everyone’s there! Trump, Joe, Hilary, Kamala, Mamdani. (Melania must be in New York.) Check it out: https://youtu.be/ssRclknWLqI?si=mw73q5GjTz6pp0-_
Very nice, thanks!
Never read that before — what a great speech!
Wow, what a great piece. I especially chuckled over the line “The inventor of pins did a thousand times more good than all the popes and cardinals, the bishops and priests…”
What would a woke activist make of this essay? I had a lot of fun picking out what they would see in it. The dated arguments of men in women in their traditional gender roles. The complete lack of acknowledgement of non-white cultures, and so on.
Referring to indigenous peoples as “savages”.
Not sure I would assume Ingersoll is referring to “indigenous people”. He mentions “savage times”, I think he is referring to humanity in general as it became more “civilized”?
Actually, civilized isn’t really what I was thinking. I think he is going farther back than that, to about the point we became “human”. Sorry about the additional post.
No need to be sorry. You make a great point! Thank you.
I would argue instead that Ingersoll in his powerful sermon was referring explicitly to aboriginals but in an entirely non-pejorative way, especially in his reference to the savages who fished and hunted to feed their children before the European farmers arrived. The French sauvage means wild, untamed, in a childlike state of Nature uncorrupted by the evils of worldly civilization. It’s where the “noble savage” trope comes from that appeared, AI tells me, in the fashionable salons of 1670s Europe. It is frowned on today as disempowering. If the Indians had been more “savage” in the modern colloquial sense they might have scared off the interlopers, perhaps by blinding all but the one left with one eye to sail the rest home to deter followers.
And banishing “savage [pagan] gods” is everywhere what conversion to Christianity accomplishes. Atheism would, too, I suppose, but it doesn’t travel well. The distinguishing feature of savages in that reading is that they were decent fellow human beings who just hadn’t found Jesus yet.
But yes, the woke activists would still take offence.
That (your second paragraph) was the first thing I thought. That (your first paragraph) was the second thing I thought.
I remember this name from my childhood, as my father and mother were atheists.
Thanks, that was a great secular sermon.
I was surprised there was no thanks for music or musicians. Maybe music wasn’t his thing…
Such a fine and timely post. Thanks, Jerry Coyne. Thanks, D J Grothe. And, especially, thanks Robert Green Ingersoll.
I’ve lived in or near Rochester for most of my life, and FINALLY visited Susan B’s house (GO! It’s really worth it!). Next stop for me on the Freethought Trail is definitely the Ingersoll Birthplace in Dresden, NY. Have any of you folks been there?
Yes. Glad to get to see it and other Freethought Trail destinations. Persevered in making the pilgrimage to Sagan’s and Twain’s graves.
I’m thankful for the Columbian exchange; that the Old World can feast on the foods that were native to the Americas. I’m thankful to the Peruvian folks who toiled away to improve the eating quality of potatoes; as the wild varieties had varying amounts of bitter tasting solanine which could cause illness when too much was eaten. Youtube video, “Potatoes: South America’s Gift to the World” on Ancient Americas channel says the natives mixed clay into the cooked potato to neutralize the solanine.
It would have been funny if the infant Jesus had thrown the myrrh out of his cot and cried for chocolate. Funny if a wise man from the west had turned up bearing chocolate. I find it amusing that the upcoming Feast of Cocoamass [ otherwise called Christmas ] was not at all informed by the old world religions, wise men or astrologers. The offspring from the Noah’s ark tale had totally forgotten about cocoa etc even though, by that story, it was less than 5000 years previous. No attempt to cultivate it either. Also the imagined roaming spirits and ghosts or devils never managed to inform folks around the world of its existence to tempt them to search the Americas for it. Funny if in the Temptation of Christ in the desert the devil had taunted Jesus, ” If you are the Son of God, turn these stones into Chocolate dessert” And Jesus replied, “No one listen to these lies, Chocolate isn’t a thing. Bread and water is what i give you, it is all you need. Oh Lord give us this day our daily bread. Man can not live on bread alone he needs to have it with chocolate spread. Sorry i miss spoke, the devil tricked me”
These are very good points. Same with corn and other products developed by the natives of the new world. Along with the great and good inventions and products from people all over Asia.
We know more about those people and civilizations than Ingersoll did. That does not detract from his brilliance.
Thank you Jerry for that lovely ‘sermon’.
I love the pin quote. I had to make a meme out of it.Thanks!
https://x.com/joolzzt/status/1994247476446990646?s=20
Nice!
Wonderful!
I try to read some Ingersoll often, if not daily. It doesn’t really matter which of the volumes of his Works I take of my shelf; his way with words has always been inspiring elevating oftentimes funny and always relevant. Words put together by him well over 100 years ago. Since 2006 when I first made his acquaintance he’s been the person in history I’d “most like to have dinner with”.
I’m 70 now and live in Seattle; I still hope to make a pilgrimage to his birthplace museum in Dresden before, well, you know…
Thanks for posting this Jerry!
Curious to see Lamarck there, as he is mostly remembered today for being wrong. Perhaps I should study him closer. I may find that like Freud, he was wrong but still admirable for making us think about things that had previously been ignored.
I like this Blog, but I don’t often post comments. But, this time I had to say something, because the brilliant, relevant, and important writings of Robert Ingersoll were instrumental in my deconversion from religion, years and years ago. His poignant, powerful, persuasive arguments against religion, are just as relevant today as they were when Ingersoll wrote them. His critiques of the Bible, and Christianity in particular, are just devastating. I am thankful, thankful for Robert Ingersoll. He is one of my intellectual heroes. More people should know who he was; he should be a household name. Pick up his writings, and read them sometime, if you never have. You won’t regret it, the man was truly ahead of his time. – Andrew
Also, on Librivox.org there are two volumes of Lectures of Col. R.G. Ingersoll. The reading is excellent.