Today we have a lighthearted change of pace: reader Athayde Tonhasca Júnior is writing not about pollination, but about aging. His captions are indented, and you can enlarge the photos by clicking on them.
In banana years, we are bread
I think it’s safe to assume that a good many WEIT readers, like me, have already accrued many miles on their personal odometers. Or, as Brazilians say it, dobraram o Cabo da Boa Esperança (have rounded the Cape of Good Hope): our odyssey is almost completed, the distance to the end is much shorter than to the starting point. We can fall into anguish about it, despair, deny, ignore, fight back to slow the rate of decrepitude, or be philosophical regarding the inevitable outcome. Because, as Maurice Chevalier quipped, old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
Here are some thoughts about ageing and some assorted images lifted from Private Eye magazine (hopelessly lefty but unbeatable with their cartoons), or sent by fellow old codgers.
Some quotes:
There are three deaths: the first is when the body ceases to function. The second is when the body is consigned to the grave. The third is that moment, sometime in the future, when your name is spoken for the last time. David Eagleman
Death does not make us equal. There are skulls with all their teeth. Mário Quintana
At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas. Often credited to Claude Pepper
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. George Burns
Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory. Franklin P. Adams
Tom Smith is dead, and here he lies, / Nobody laughs and nobody cries; / Where his soul’s gone, or how it fares, / Nobody knows, and nobody cares. Grave epitaph, Newbury, England, 1742
You start off irresistible. And, then you become resistible. And then you become transparent – not exactly invisible but as if you are seen through old plastic. Then you actually do become invisible. And then — and this is the most amazing transformation — you become repulsive. But that’s not the end of the story. After repulsive then you become cute – and that’s where I am. Leonard Cohen
I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward. John Mortimer
There is still no cure for the common birthday. John Glenn
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn’t help wondering from what direction. Bob Hope
Happiness is good health and bad memory. Ingrid Bergman
Older people shouldn’t eat health food: they need all the preservatives they can get. Robert Orben
An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last instalment missing. Quentin Crisp
About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age. Gloria Pitzer
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. Hector Berlioz
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened. Terry Pratchett
In the long run, we’re all dead. John Maynard Keynes
The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is now. Anon
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted. Bertrand Russell
The fluffy newborn chick of hope tumbles from the eggshell of life and splashes into the hot frying pan of doom. Humprey Lyttleton
A doctor is seeing an old millionaire who had started using a revolutionary hearing aid:
– So, Mr Humphrey, are you enjoying the new device?
– Very much so.
– Did your family like it?
– I don’t know, I haven’t told anyone yet. But I’ve already changed my will three times.
And for the final image: my wife suggested that I should hang a sign like this by my desk. I declined because it is not truthful: I am not on a diet.
Love the cartoons and memes, Jerry. Keep up the good work!
So good!
I liked it!
My grandfather’s favourite quote (which was his):
My favourite quote (which is mine):
My motto: You are only young once, but you can be immature all your life.
These are great. Cannot decide between them on which one to send to friends.
Wonderful! And what a good idea to share these as a contribution to Rs’WP.
The observation by David Eagleman reminds me of a novel in the historical fiction genre by Mary Doria Russell.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1276938.Dreamers_of_the_Day
At the end of the novel when the protagonist has died — no spoiler alert there, happens to us all of us — she finds herself in an anteroom in the afterlife. Everyone who has swum in the Nile — this draws on “real-life” myths about the magic of the river, says the author — stays there until the last person who remembers who they were when they lived, has died. Given that her entire family died in the Spanish flu pandemic leaving her alone in the world, a circumstance that stimulated her to start the story the novel relates, the protagonist is puzzled to find herself tarrying there, until it comes to her in an epilogue.
I like it when you take us along humor lane from time to time.
Makes for a good mix.
Thx
D.A.
NYC
“Christ Almighty, now what?” was my favourite. LOL!
Thanks for the laugh this morning, Jerry.
Love these!
Nice one Athayde!
Very nice!
“Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional”
A lot of rock and roll jokes. But boomers could have done a lot worse than to grow up listening to rock music. For example, they could have grown up listening to rap music, like my kids. While I was proud to share the music of my youth with my kids, I once told my son that he’ll have to think twice before he lets his kids listen to the music of his youth.
A wonderful selection, thanks Athayde!
The cartoons in Private Eye are great. One of the cartoonists is married to an old girlfriend of mine from decades ago (we all met at university, where he shared a student house with some friends of ours). I wish I’d saved the comic strips he drew of me for the student newspaper when I was a students’ union officer!
Athayde, thanks so much for the humor!
The “Amount of Energy Spent” chart hit way too close to home to me as just this month, I had to seriously consider re-routing at least 15 connections, extensions, adapters and surge protectors behind my desk to get that “faster” modem from cable provider Xfinity.
As the new modem was an odd-size, had to be situated in a special place in the middle of the house, I returned the new modem. Turns out, I can live just fine with the slower speed.
Excellent. Thank you very much.
Funny! Thanks.
Related: The Free Press has started a new Sunday series for old timers. It called “Ancient Wisdom.”
https://www.thefp.com/p/introducing-ancient-wisdom
Very appropriate: today is my 67th birthday.
Only 67?
Thank you, dear.