Best and worst Oscar dresses

February 11, 2020 • 3:00 pm

Surprise—it’s my first fashion post! But I do pay attention to fancy dresses at awards shows (men are boringly similar in tuxedos, and when they deviate, it’s usually horrible). I didn’t watch the Oscars, but am a sucker for collections of red-carpet pictures on some websites. These are from Vogue, and I’ve looked at other sites as well. I’m just going to award Best Dress and Worst Dress. (Photos by Getty Images.)

Best dress: It’s Natalie Portman, who chose to make a political statement with her dress by having the names of un-nominated female directors embroidered tastefully on her Dior Haute Couture gown. It’s not that revealing compared to, say, what Charlize Theron wore (a lovely dress in itself), but it’s classy and tasteful, and nicely complemented by the cape.

And Titania weighs in:

 

Worst dress. Kristen Wiig. What was she thinking? (The designer wasn’t even identified, and I’d recommend that he or she hide out for a while.) This dress has been compared to lasagna, and you can see why. As a biologist, I’d say it resembles a nudibranch.

Nudibranch:

Magnificent Chromodoris Nudibranch (Chromodoris magnifica). Moalboal, Philippines

37 thoughts on “Best and worst Oscar dresses”

  1. I think your Worst choice is a good one. I wonder, isn’t Kirstin Wiig a comedian? Maybe this dress was supposed to be funny? I can’t say why exactly but I do find it funny. As soon as I saw it I burst out laughing.

    1. Yes, she’s a comedian. When I first saw the dress I thought WTF? Later, when she was doing her bit with Maya Rudolph, it worked better in context. Either way, it’s not appealing to me.

      1. I took it that way. She did a comedy sketch in the show, and this was an unstated part of it.

        Actually, I think it is fun to wear something goofy to these sorts of things.

  2. Nudibranch? I’m thinking more like a squid’s mantle since the wavey things don’t go all the way around.

  3. Try a site called Go Fug Yourself, run by Heather and Jessica, two witty women who are also on Twitter. They are funny and precise, and cover a lot of ground. They too thought that Wiig’s dress (intentionally) comic, I thought) resembled a sea creature.

  4. C’mon, prof! What’s the matter with wanting to look like a gorgeous creature like a nudibranch?!?!? Don’t be such a stuck-in-the-mud (like a gorgeous nudibranch).

    1. … which is funny because my sister and I used to refer to Zygons as “those lasagna monsters”.

      1. I rather like her fashion choices. Interesting and definitely not going for the all-so-boring nympho pop star look.
        Here I am, all a titter about H’Wood fashions! ..The hell is wrong with me!?

      2. From the 2/10/2020 NY Times photo, “she” was sporting rather impressive chin whiskers. I confess that I am not familiar with Billy Porter. Is s/he a trans female, or a trans male? Or a cis-male all decked out in riotous splendor?

        I think fashionistas are no less obligated to hold forth on the sartorial splendor of those who, by all outward appearances, appear to be cis-male politicians.

        (How can one be sure? Ought they not be asked on the record, at the circuses that pass for debates, what their gender identities are? Possibly there’s at least one “revolving” gender identity running for office. Give Nancy Pelosi and other female politicians a break, Vanessa Friedman.

  9. Portman’s dress is interesting, but I am not sure how much of a statement it is, if it is so small it has to be pointed out. Johansson’s and Theron’s dresses were nice. Tom Hanks looked like he stole his tux from a boy. In an age when men have abandoned the cummerbund, points to Keanu Reeves for wearing a vest with his tux.

  10. Years ago Tea Leoni went to some award show and on the red carpet proclaimed she got her dress in China Town for $20. It was a lovely simple dress. Imagine how that would go over now. Cultural appropriation.

  12. Oh, I forgot to add:

    Wouldn’t surprise me if those dresses were not in the $70-100,000 range each.

  13. I simlly cannot abide the fakeness that is the Oscars, but usually like looking at the dresses after. While the worst dress simply has to be a bad joke, it is not as simply ridiculous and laughable as the nude dresses of late. Anything to get noticed hey girls?! Natalie Portman always exudes professionalism and class as demonstrated is her clothing choices, so I am not surprised by your #1 choice. I haven’t sought out the dresses this year as a few outlandish ones have polluted the media already, so they have effectively diminished any remaining interest I had. Thank you for sharing Natalie Portman’s dress though; all is not lost it seems.

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