Brave man attacks London terrorist with a narwhal tusk!

Well, I’m not sure if the London attacker can be described as a “terrorist”, but it’s a reasonable guess given that he was known to police, was wearing a fake suicide vest, and was wearing an electronic monitor when he killed two people and injured three. The monitor was because the killer was on parole for “terrorism related offenses.” The killer was finally killed by police gunfire.

At any rate, the Guardian and several other sources (e.g., here and here) report that a lot of brave people went for the guy, but the most unusual of these heroes used a NARWHAL TUSK as a weapon. As the Guardian reports,

One of the bystanders who helped restrain the attacker was armed with a five-foot narwhal tusk. Amy Coop, a writer and director who was in Fishmongers’ Hall when the attack occurred, said the man took the tusk from the wall.

Here’s the tweet reporting it, and I’ve put a photo below:

PROOF: The tusker in action (another person attacked the killer with a fire extinguisher):

This must be the first time that a killer was taken down with the help of bits from a marine mammal.

h/t: Winnie


  1. Posted November 29, 2019 at 7:07 pm | Permalink

    Well, if the theme tune of the Manchester attack was ‘Don’t look back in anger’, this one is going to have the old Vera Lynn song, ‘Whale meat again’.

    • Kelcey
      Posted November 29, 2019 at 7:20 pm | Permalink

      Alternatively the Fleetwood Mac song “Tusk”

      • Posted November 29, 2019 at 7:43 pm | Permalink

        Another brick in narwhal. Baleine of confusion…hey-ee-hey.

      • merilee
        Posted November 29, 2019 at 11:34 pm | Permalink

        I never understood what that song was about…

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted November 29, 2019 at 11:09 pm | Permalink

      Another one bites the tusk.

      • merilee
        Posted November 29, 2019 at 11:33 pm | Permalink

        +1 each🤓

    • enl
      Posted November 30, 2019 at 5:05 am | Permalink

      Grand funk: T.U.S.K.

  2. Randall Schenck
    Posted November 29, 2019 at 7:23 pm | Permalink

    There were some brave citizens in London today. All of the UK should be proud of the action taken by a few and of the police as well. My hat is off to all of them.

    • wetherjeff
      Posted December 2, 2019 at 6:41 am | Permalink

      I wholeheartedly agree. If there is anything positive that can come of this it’s the demonstration of bravery and sacrifice by ordinary people who just want to help others, even if they are of foreign origin.
      The fact that it appears to have been a Polish guy who brandished the tusk is the perfect response to our xenophobic government and their supporters. My best friend moved here from Poland 15 years ago, and is the nicest, most hardworking guy you could meet. He, along with this guy has given oodles more to the UK than many natives I know. The sad fact is that this hero will have had to apply to remain in the UK – his home – and pay our horrible, hostile and xenophobic home office for the privilege.

      Tsshhhh… These Polish heroes, coming over here, saving lives, stealing our women and our narwhal tusks. Playing a key role for the RAF in the battle of Britain. Preventing a Nazi invasion. How dare they?

      • Posted December 2, 2019 at 11:56 am | Permalink

        … helping Alan Turing get started with Enigma, etc.

  3. merilee
    Posted November 29, 2019 at 7:45 pm | Permalink

    We’ve brought out the punsters😬 Hope the guy gives the tusk back.

    • Posted November 29, 2019 at 8:05 pm | Permalink

      Bad taste, yes, Merilee, but nowhere near as oleaginously supine and auto-flagellant as the ‘Don’t look back in anger’ aren’t-I-forgiving vapidities recycled by the tiresome mediocrities of the Manc slam-poetry gush-fest.

      • merilee
        Posted November 29, 2019 at 11:21 pm | Permalink

        I’m not saying that I didn’t enjoy the puns, Dermott🤓

        • merilee
          Posted November 29, 2019 at 11:23 pm | Permalink

          Sorry, Dermott, I gave you an extra “t”.

  4. Mark R.
    Posted November 29, 2019 at 7:48 pm | Permalink

    The unicorn of the sea fights terrorism! Good work Londoners and unicorns!!!
    Another reason why America needs to reconsider guns. Yes, he knifed two to death, but what if he owned an AR-15 and a 100-round clip? A gun-wielding murderer would never be confronted by a long mammalian spear in the U.S.

  5. rickflick
    Posted November 29, 2019 at 8:28 pm | Permalink

    I’ve imagined myself in desperate situations like this. I guess you always wonder how you’d be in such dire straits where lives were at stake. The one image that keeps coming to my mind is – I’d look around for a handy baseball bat or hefty umbrella to use as a weapon. But, the narwhal tusk had never entered my dreams. You have to remain flexible.

    • Diana MacPherson
      Posted November 29, 2019 at 11:11 pm | Permalink

      I’d just stare in contemplation until I was stabbed. I know this because of how I’ve reacted to other situations. I just become mesmerized with the action around me.

      • rickflick
        Posted November 29, 2019 at 11:24 pm | Permalink

        Don’t worry. I’m right here with my trusty umbrella. 😎

        • Diana MacPherson
          Posted November 29, 2019 at 11:35 pm | Permalink

          Haha. If a timid dog attacks you will save us.

          • rickflick
            Posted November 30, 2019 at 7:26 am | Permalink

            The more timider the better.

  6. Posted November 29, 2019 at 8:33 pm | Permalink

    Two of the civilian responders had long, whitish objects in their hands. I’ve seen video and stills of both. The photo above shows a (?white) man with dark pants, and a long, skinny, tapering object, confronting the attacker just before he is knocked to the ground. The linked videos in the OP show the second man, who is black and wearing tan pants and holding a somewhat shorter, stouter, cylindrical object; he is part of the group confronting the attacker after he has been knocked to the ground. A witness, Amy Coop, is reported to have identified the second man as holding the narwhal tusk, but the first object looks more like a narwhal tusk to me.

    GCM (commenting as whyevolutionistrue to save logins)

  7. Rawandi
    Posted November 29, 2019 at 8:47 pm | Permalink

    The jihadist was called Usman, just like the third caliph of Islam.

  8. GBJames
    Posted November 29, 2019 at 9:31 pm | Permalink


  9. Jon Gallant
    Posted November 29, 2019 at 9:38 pm | Permalink

    Usman Khan, the London Bridge protester who was peacefully demonstrating against western imperialism with the aid of two large knives, was “wrestled to the ground” by five or six blokes. The blokes’ microaggression against Mr. Khan is an obvious case of Islamophobia, and we can expect the Stop the War Coalition to issue a sorrowful remonstrance. As for the narwhal tusk and its wielder, that reveals the Eurocentric and colonialist character of western Marine Biology.

    • merilee
      Posted November 29, 2019 at 11:30 pm | Permalink

      Not to mention the man-centric (phallic) narwhal tusk. Remember that crazy feminist glaciology article from a while back?

      • Jon Gallant
        Posted November 29, 2019 at 11:54 pm | Permalink

        I unaccountably overlooked the phallic character of the narwhal tusk, a matter on which I will have to bone up. Actually, the whole story pleased me, as my partly home-rigged sailboat of fond memory was called the Narwhal, due to her impressive bowsprit. Alas, the good ship Narwhal now lies beneath the waves.

      • Posted November 30, 2019 at 6:14 am | Permalink

        Well only male narwhals have them so it’s clearly a sexualised weapon.

        • merilee
          Posted November 30, 2019 at 9:28 am | Permalink

          So the females have no tusks? I dudn’t know that.

          • Posted November 30, 2019 at 12:04 pm | Permalink

            Well, according to Wikipedia, only males have them.

            • merilee
              Posted November 30, 2019 at 12:23 pm | Permalink

              A Globe and Mail article today said that “mostly” only males have them. Wonder what that’s a about? Transitioning?

  10. Posted November 30, 2019 at 4:12 am | Permalink

    The Mail are reporting that the man with the tusk was a Polish kitchen worker called Łukasz. Bloody immigrants!

    • Snake
      Posted November 30, 2019 at 6:13 am | Permalink

      I was about to post the same thing. Bloody foreigners, coming over here, stabbing our terrorists.

      What we need is more guns and fewer immigrants. Or something.

  11. Nicolaas Stempels
    Posted November 30, 2019 at 6:21 am | Permalink

    I understand that the terrorist was shot dead while lying on the ground disarmed.
    That does not reflect very well on the British police, I’d say. On the other hand, he wore a (fake, as it turned out) suicide vest, so they were probably justified.

    • Peter N
      Posted November 30, 2019 at 8:29 am | Permalink

      I read that he had knives taped to each hand, and although a bystander had managed to get one knife off him, he wasn’t “lying on the ground disarmed”. In any case, the police arriving on the scene would have had reasonable belief that he could have been carrying additional weapons and still posed a threat to themselves and others, so the use of deadly force was entirely justified.

      Also, he had just murdered two people, and a third is in critical condition. So cry me a river.

      • Posted November 30, 2019 at 8:57 am | Permalink

        Frank Gardner, the BBC’s security correspondent said that Khan opened his jacket to the coppers to reveal the vest: an invitation to be killed. Martyrdom achieved.

        • infiniteimprobabilit
          Posted December 2, 2019 at 11:56 pm | Permalink

          He wanted it, he deserved it, he got it.

          I’m normally the last person to defend police ‘violence’ against a person, but this bastard thoroughly deserved anything that happened to him.

          (If you want to make a case against the British police, google ‘de Menezes’. But this one, yesterday, is not one to make a stand on).


    • wetherjeff
      Posted December 2, 2019 at 6:11 am | Permalink

      Hmmmm…. a crazed murderer on a violent, maniacal rampage, he cannot be safely restrained and then reveals a suicide vest. Your choice as a police officer:
      a) Give the guy the benefit of the doubt – it’s probably a fake explosive vest. Even if it is real he might only kill and injure 100 people
      b) Shoot the thug posing a very real and present danger before he can detonate a bomb

      Shooting of suspects is a very rare occurrence in the UK and is taken extremely seriously. From where I am standing they got this spot on which reflects extremely well on the police. Contrast this with the US. Police there would probably have shot the black guy that was helping disarm him.

      I am as anti-gun as they come. That said, I would have had no hesitation in shooting him, right after shoving that narwhal tusk where the sun doesn’t shine.

  12. Simon
    Posted November 30, 2019 at 9:30 am | Permalink

    Terrible for the innocent people who lost their lives but this is an amazing story.

    Taken down by a narwhal tusk, a fire extinguisher, two guys doing an “The Italian Job” themed London tour in a vintage Mini and a convicted murderer?

    My mind is blown.

  13. Posted December 2, 2019 at 11:59 am | Permalink

    Looks like even over there people have learned the lessons from MacGyver.

%d bloggers like this: