Readers’ beefs

December 26, 2015 • 12:00 pm

The usual rivulet of wonky readers’ comments, ones that I save for posting above the fold, has slowed lately. Perhaps even the addled take a break over the holidays. But there are still four that I’ll show below, even though the people trying to post them will never post here again.

Reader “John”, apparently incensed by my post on the special issue of Evolutionary Applications devoted to women in evolutionary biology, let loose with a fusillade against American women:

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.

[JAC: Website URL for this blog redacted so the guy doesn’t get any traffic]


I’d suggest that he get an inflatable doll, but those don’t cook or clean.


A person named “gunads” (LOL) tried to put this comment on a photo of an ammo-and-pro-gun ad attached to my post “Our gun culture” . (People often post comments on picture pages rather than on the posts themselves; be careful where you comment!). At any rate, “gunads” seems to be trying to sway me toward a pro-gun view by claiming that ownership of guns is simply a result of evolution:

It’s a beautiful gun ad. Let’s think about it, you believe in evolution? Well, guns are an evolution over fists, sticks, swords, bows and arrows. Guns are the great equalizer, instead of having to be young and fit, and 89-year-old-woman in a wheelchair with a gun will be equal to a 21-year-old punk in his prime.

We the humans aren’t dirty apes that have done the same thing over centuries. We are not slaves of nature, we overcome nature everyday. When nature says, “it’s gonna rain,” we open an umbrella. When nature sends a hurricane, we hide under our hurricane-proof glass and/or shutters. When nature give us deadly diseases, we invent cures. And when face danger from burglars, rapists, and murderers, we get our guns and survive like civilized men instead of dying like dirty dogs.

Yeah, and an 89-year-old woman in a wheelchair who has a rocket-propelled grenade is equal to a tank, and if she had a nuclear weapon, she’d be equal to a whole country!


Reader “Dom Neuser,” upset by my post on “The sad news: American’s beliefs about Christmas,” took the trouble to tell us what he thinks about evolution:

unless you can create life or unless you know of someone who can do that, you have nothing to say. This website is like a little club of like minded individuals who spend all day patting each other on the back reminding each other how smart they are.

Well, we’re savvy enough not to believe in a Big Bodiless Mind in the Sky! But seriously, would Dom be able to tell us exactly what his god is like and how he knows that? Further, my experience is that the commenters, while generally liberal and godless, are far from being like-minded. Has he read any pieces on free will? Maybe Dom should go over to one of the Intelligent Design websites and see how like minded they are!


This is my favorite comment (responding to the same post above) for two reasons. First, it’s by someone who used the pseudonym “Jesus dided for you.” Second, it’s in CAPSLOCK:


Sadly, in his comment Mr. Jesus Dided forgot the comma after “YOU.”

109 thoughts on “Readers’ beefs

  1. From the Urban dictionary:

    Past tense verb –

    1. To be done; particularly in a manner of a project, task or accomplishment.

    2. In relation to a haircut, having ones’ hair cut, managed, coloured and/or styled.

    3. To be dressed like a salad; typically having to do with hair, i.e. to get ones’ hair did, or done.

    So, I think his name stands for “Mr HayZeus Salad.

  2. Re Dom Neuser. True no-one has created life but as I understand it Craig Venter has created an artificial life form, without divine intervention. You would know better.

  3. What a loss to womankind John is. All he wanted was a 24-hour servant he could impregnate. I can’t believe he got no takers.

      1. As a kid, I had no idea what “chasted” meant & thought it was “chased”. A pervy elementary school teacher (yeah, you read that right) once asked me if I were “chasted” & I had no idea what he was talking about.

        1. ‘chasted’ ? Is that some curious past tense of ‘chaste’? 😉

          Reminds me of an Ogden Nash-like line
          “Mother said I didn’t oughta
          So I stayed a virgin, sorta”


  4. I would say that first fellow should be checked into the nearest Bellevue or head-shop clinic for examination. Probably something to do with mom. The rest are just unfortunately, like that not so great place you ate last week, but are happy to forget the name.

    1. John must be a one-eyed man. In my neck of the woods, men and children are grossly obese also.
      Maybe, they need to take their weapons out to the woods more often to shoot wildlife, and forage for wild foods, rather than grazing the most dangerous supermarket aisles

      1. Hey, I even have an album by that group, although, oddly, it isn’t American Woman. The one with the 57 Chevy, I think. But I sure did not end up like troubled John.

      2. If he’s typing it may be Lennny Kravitz’s version he’s heard. That’s the version I think of. And I’m so very young.

      3. As I was reading this poor fellow’s comments about American Women, the Guess Who song, “American Woman,” started playing in my mind. (Sorry Lenny) I’m glad I’m not the only one who experienced this during John’s jeremiad.

    1. There’s a joke about a stupid guy given an inflatable doll as a gift who later says “The funniest thing happened. I bit her on the neck, then she farted and flew out the window”of

      1. The way I heard the joke, the punchline had the Frenchman saying:

        “Inflatable? Mon Dieu! I thought she vaz English!”

    2. John needs to learn to cook if he wants to conquer a girl’s heart. “Netflix ‘n chill” doesn’t cut it anymore. And the sixties – when you just had to look at each other to have a date – are over. Girls are more demanding. I’m not complaining, mind you. I love the ‘hunt’ (if I may phrase it like that).

      P.S. Fencing joke: The fastest way to someone’s heart is between the fourth and fifth rib.

    3. I’ve an inkling (though just and inkling, mind you) that someone of John’s ilk is likely to have taste in cuisine as rotten as his appetite for misogyny.

      Pity the luckless lot of any woman so unfortunate as to be fated with betrothal to him.

      1. Since he makes it so putridly clear who he is and what he believes, any woman who married him would have only herself to blame. I might pity her, but luck would have nothing to do with it and her fate would be self-imposed.

        1. It sounds to me like he’s describing a particular woman who left him. And is there anybody here who isn’t yelling at her, “You did the right thing by leaving!”?

  5. The pro-gun dude attracts my first comment. A common pattern, as seen here, is the faith given to the hypothesis that they need a gun on their person to git the drop on a bad guy, as if it was the Wild Wild West. Trouble is, that hypothesis is only rarely supported. Meanwhile, what would be the consequences of arming those who buy into this dumb idea?
    Traffic altercations will lead to shootings. Parking space disputes lead to shootings. Bar fights will lead to shootings. Lose a football game and the other fans are taunting you? That can lead to a shooting. Getting a D- on an exam leads to shootings. Rowdy parties leads to shootings. Getting fired leads to shootings. Being bullied at school leads to shootings.
    These are of course are far from hypothetical. They happen all too often in ‘Merica.

    1. “and 89-year-old-woman in a wheelchair with a gun will be equal to a 21-year-old punk in his prime.”

      Till the 21-year-old does the blindingly obvious and gets a gun too.

      Jeez… couldn’t ‘gunads’ see where this was going?


      1. Not the greatest at thinking ahead of the consequences of his actions, I suspect.
        The third interpretation of his name probably hasn’t occurred to him.

    2. Just last week there was a parking space dispute near the Fresh Market in Peoria. Mr Concealed Carry did just as the law was intended – he intimidated the other motorist by pulling his gun. Luckily, he didn’t shoot it, and enough people got his license number that he was arrested at home later. He was hauled off to jail and his gun was confiscated. He probably has it back by now, but at least his name got in the local paper.

      1. That kind of thing is a quotidian occurrence here in south Florida where many cars serve as mobile armories and where, as Dave Barry has said, “there is only one traffic law, which is that no driver may ever be behind any other driver.”

    3. You know, I was with you until you called the U.S. “‘Merica”. You may be an American yourself and I know you may be imitating GW Bush or some other southern or southwestern American, but it’s unnecessarily insulting to my country and does nothing to buttress your point. I would never suggest censoring you for this, but I believe you make yourself look bad with your stereotyping of the people of a country with 330 Million citizens. Or at least the pro-gun portion or conservatives in general. We are a diverse country and those who commit mass murder come from all different kinds of people from many different parts of not just the U.S., but the world. And in case your aim was to be lighthearted, there is nothing lighthearted about mass murders.

      1. The proper spelling and pronunciation is “Murica” and it’s a well known meme. I don’t think any right-thinking American should take offense at ridicule toward wrong-thinking Americans.

  6. It has long been said that one’s worth can be judged by the quality of one’s enemies – I hope you don’t put too much stock in that 🙂

  7. Hey John – speaking as a non-American, keep your cotton-pickin’ hands off’n our women!

    (Though I think with John’s attitude he might not have much success there either…)

    Inflatable Pam sounds like a good option for him…



    1. Inflatable Pam is too good for him.
      Plus any competent divorce lawyer should be able to get compensatory damages out of him if he just looks at her ‘funny’.

  8. Well, John, the grass is always greener at the other side of the fence. I would know, because I’m Dutch and know a lot about grass.

    1. Are you suggesting that John should climb onto the other side of the dyke to find some greener grass?

      1. I’m afraid he’ll only find a boy sticking his finger in the dyke to save our country. John should learn to appreciate American women and do some soul-searching about what constitutes a healthy relationship.

        1. Yes, John thinks that 150 million+ women are wrong but wouldn’t consider that he, himself, could be the one who is wrong.

        2. I don’t think he knows what a “healthy relationship” is – or doesn’t believe that his philosophy needs one.

    2. @EvoledDutchie: Totally on the the side:

      Oh, you are Dutch!!

      I had wondered if you were a British duchess, maybe Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, in disguise. Well that was without considering the -t- in EvolvedDutchie, which should have been a dissuasive hint, but I missed that and was going with the sound of duchie. Never know who is actually on here, you know?

      1. Every time I read his name, I think of a certain donut at Tim Horton’s that I keep telling Jerry to try

          1. What? You telling us those little chocolate-making countries have nationalities of their own? 🙂

          2. What? You telling us those little chocolate-making countries all have separate nationalities of their own? 🙂

          3. He is doing well. He received help and a diagnosis finally. He has a combination of medication that seems to work as well.

          4. The Dutch and Danish are culturally very similar though. The Netherlands and Denmark are both cycling nations, very flat, very secular and very liberal. Denmark was the first country to open up registered partnerships for LGBT couples and the Netherlands was the first country to legalize same-sex marriage.

          5. Well, the U.S. has Vermont, which is as close to Denmark and the Netherlands as you can get I think. 😛

      2. I’m not female, nor British. My grandfather’s mother was a member of the nobility, but titles aren’t passed on by ladies. So I don’t have a noble title either. Sorry to disappoint on all counts (pun intended). 😛

  9. Perhaps it’s time for the Tim Minchin classic “Inflatable You”

  10. Oh, what holiday fun!

    #1: “unchaste”!?

    Um, wrong century. This century wants ‘unchaste’ persons, the more the merrier. Next, please!

    #2: “guns are an evolution over fists, sticks, swords, bows and arrows”.

    If evolution wanted to evolve biological guns in humans what stopped it?

    “C. geographus is a piscivore that dwells in sediment of shallow reefs,[2] preying on small fish. … Like the other cone snails, it fires a harpoon-like, venom-tipped modified tooth into its prey; the harpoon is attached to the body by a proboscis, and the prey is pulled inside for ingestion. … These estimates make the geographic cone snail the most venomous animal in the world.” [ ]

    Most likely what stopped evolution was the constraint that minimized our canines and made humans among the most socialized species in the world. Gun nuts are plain nuts. Next, please!

    #3: “unless you know of someone who can do that [make life]”.

    Yes, we know someone, nature can make life.

    Earth started out devoid of life and now it has life, Geology 101 observations. Neither surprising – since we exist – nor hard, if the early fossil candidates (now older than 4.1 billion years) are an observation that holds up.

    We also seem to see roughly how it happened, if the inherited more or less “geological” root traits are indicative. Next, please!

    #4: “MORON”.

    Uh, well… I have no (printable) response to that. So close!

        1. (Please understand I was not disparaging ‘unchaste’ women, quite the opposite.
          ‘Thank heaven for naughty girls’ as Maurice Chevalier didn’t quite say)


          1. Oh, I agree, ip, and I didn’t think you were.

            I was directing that toward Jerry’s correspondent John who — unlike you, me, and Maurice — seems to view American women’s want of absolute chasteness in pejorative terms.

          2. Thanks Ken. I didn’t really think you were, I was just hoping to forestall it being taken the wrong way.

            Sometimes when these one-liners occur to me, it’s a case of ‘wisecrack in haste, explain at leisure’ 😉


        2. Of all the disparaging remarks that might be directed my way, I do believe I would suffer the animadversion “unchaste” most gladly.

  11. “American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste.”

    Yes, but on rare occasion, one will exhibit a negative trait, too. (Nobody’s perfect, “John,” you pie-eyed optimist you.)

    Not sure “wonky” quite captures the tenor of these errant correspondents of yours, Jerry. More like obtuse, delusional, and logic-impaired.

    1. Methinks John has had little success in being a John and, therefore, disses the so-called chaste chasees for being unchaste without him.
      Methinks he can continue finding what little gratification he can communing with himself.

      1. I suspect his only experience in doing the fadoodle has come in the role of “john.”

        His comment to Jerry has MRA/red-pill/”pick-up artist” nonsense stamped all over it.

        1. That’s what I was thinking. The supposed desirability of “foreign women” is one of their favorite talking points.

          1. Yeah, these creeps seem especially keen on buying eastern European and Pacific rim women — more bang for the buck, I suppose is the way they look at it.

  12. One of the local newspaper columnists gets a lot of hate mail like this. About once a month, he publishes it all in a column called “Random Ax of Snideness.” If he hasn’t copyrighted the title, maybe you could use it, too.

  13. I hope “reader John” is sufficiently grateful that we have evolved opposable thumbs to aid him in his boycott of women

    1. In response to your comment, John had to lift his knuckles from the ground where they were dragging to check his thumbs. (“What’s ‘opposable’?” he wants to know now.)

  14. I suspect that what John offered as a description of American women is most probably an unrecognized self-description.

  15. What about Dom? Are sure his first name isn’t spelled with a “u” instead of an “o”? Oh, and don’t forget to tack a “b” onto the end (did I really need to add that).

  16. Sorry, but an 89-year-old woman in a wheelchair probably doesn’t have the reaction speed of a 21-year-old punk in his prime. And if the punk already pulled a gun on her, she’s as good as unarmed – and if she tries to pull out her gun, too, then worse off than unarmed, probably.
    As for John, say what you will about him, but he’s certainly not a xenophobe. 🙂

  17. gunads provided evidence that gun-nuts are compensating for their perceived inadequacies. Thanks, gunads! I always wondered about that.

  18. If “John” was just a little less disrespectful toward women, he’d probably be covered in little round bruises — from where they then might be willing to touch him with a ten-foot pole.

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