56 thoughts on “Philomena tw**ts sacrilege

  1. So per some pontiff named Luke near some villa once named Corinth, there be some bloviator there with ham slices, chocolate bunnies and egg – shaped plastic shells enticing some very whitely veiled eight – year – old, princess – sized daughters segregated away from the cruciformed nave with this horrid sentence, “Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me.”

    And if she (in the least of her childish ways of resistance) refuses this mothermuck, why, she should know from him thusly, “There will, for you, be hell to pay, Girlie!”

    Blue

      1. My mother was fond of that phrase. It means something very different. It means that it doesn’t make a difference one way or the other.

        She had a lot of sayings. My favorite was, when I was asking for something that was right there, she’d say, “If it was a snake it would have bit you.”

        1. A variant that is used in the north-east of England is “it’s a six and two threes”.

  2. Is nothing sacred? Nope…

    BTW “GirlFoodie” of Warfield, Berkshire, UK may have taken the photo. At her ChasingTheDish blog she’s provides her Stigmata Sandwich Cookies With Raspberry Filling recipe [Makes 3 dozen sandwich cookies]

  3. Wow, this website is getting ever more sophisticated. Now you even have an “Official Website Sweetheart™”. Excellent choice!

  4. These cookies get me thinking about how crucifixion actually worked.

    Did they drive nails through the wrists, or jam them into the palms?

      1. Better, ask the CIA. They’re still fond of the technique, which they euphemistically call, “stress positions.”

        Anything that partially suspends you by the arms will do the trick. So will completely suspending you by the arms, of course, but that goes too quickly. Let your victim take some of the weight off by standing up, and you can prolong the torture until your victim’s strength gives out.

        The CIA tends to untie their victims at that point so they can prolong the torture even longer still — spread it out across years rather than mere days.

        …and I believe ropes (or chains / handcuffs) are the preferred method of suspension. Nails through body parts would be for extra drama, but wouldn’t do all that much to hold the victim in place.

        b&

        1. Your description is very similar to ‘l’estrapade’ a technique used during the Inquisition except that the victim was lifted by the arms which were tied behind the back.

      2. Well, to be honest, I wasn’t so much interested in, ahem, preserving knowledge about authentic crucifixion techniques as I was in, also ahem, cooking up a pun.

        1. From Wikipedia:
          “In popular depictions of the crucifixion of Jesus (possibly because in translations of John 20:25 the wounds are described as being “in his hands”), Jesus is shown with nails in his hands. But in Greek the word “χείρ”, usually translated as “hand”, referred to arm and hand together… A possibility that does not require tying is that the nails were inserted just above the wrist, between the two bones of the forearm (the radius and the ulna).”

          I admit that I have mixed feelings to those biscuits. A prototype of Jesus may have never existed, but plenty of real human beings died this horrible way. My country is homeland to Spartacus, the leader of the slave uprising in Rome; after his defeat, his captured men – six thousands – were all crucified. However, if the biscuit makers have had Christianity pushed down their throats, I understand them.

      1. I heard that joke originally with Smarties, and it made me sad to hear it with M&Ms. Smarties used to be dominant here in Australia, and I don’t know how M&Ms managed to invade.

        When I tell the joke, I use Smarties.

  5. Concerning the nails used for crucifiction (sic), I wonder whether they were iron. Iron manufacture only started abour 2,000 years ago so I would have thought that such a rare material would have been reserved for more important purposes. Or were the nails made from bronze?

    1. Iron has been around a lot longer than that, for closer to 3000 than 2000 years if I remember correctly. And since the raw material (iron ore) is very common, whereas tin – a key ingredient for bronze – is quite rare, iron was much cheaper and less valued than bronze in the ancient world once the technique for smelting it had been established.

  6. Philomena has a sister, Linda Cockshott the astrologer!

    standardissuemagazine.com/misc/horoscopes-linda-cockshott-4/

  7. Just in case you were having trouble buying into the whole transubstantiation thing…

  8. I see she has retweeted Rhodri Marsden. He is the tech correspondent, and also an amusing columnist, for the Indie. Worth keeping an eye on.

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