I was going to post on free will today (several readers have sent me Daniel Dennett’s defense of free will recently published in Prospect), and I’m sure some of you are glad I’m not! Regardless, I will take up that cudgel tomorrow, but now I’m piled under with a complicated science paper to write and a book to review for a newspaper. So let me just put up some persiflage for the afternoon.
Reader Su sent me this juicy bit of news from Addicting Info. Of course it involves Alabama, which I’m starting to think of as a different country, not a different state. The hyper-religious of Alabama have amused and angered us many times with their shenanigans, but this one really takes the cake.
As reported by that site, and verified by Al.com, the last act in 2014 of the city council of Winfield, Alabama (population 4540) was to declare that the town was now OWNED BY GOD. The council passed this resolution (from Al.com), and I kid you not:
Sadly, where the City of Winfield is now “because of God’s grace and mercy” is impoverished: the median income of a family, as reported by Wikipedia, is about $38,000—12,000 or so less than the median income of all Americans—and 14% of the population is below the poverty line. Presumably that will change now that God owns the town.
Mayor Randy Price sees nothing wrong with the resoution, and asserts that the reaction of his town has been mostly positive. Of course. He said this:
I feel like we need to stand up for what is right. Our forefathers said ‘One nation under God’ and we went so far away from that. There are not enough godly people involved in day-to-day decisions.
And, perhaps concerned that perhaps Jews (if there are any in Winfield) or atheists (ditto) might feel disenfranchised, Price avowed that there really is only one religion, which of course is his:
“I’m going to step on a lot of people’s toes but there’s not but one God and, that one God, to Him be the glory,” Price said. “There’s no other way; there’s no other God. There are a lot of religions out there but only one God.”
Now that God is the mayor, I assume that all crime will cease immediately, as will fornication and consumption of the Demon Rum.
Here’s the city council, with Price in the middle, looking like a Christian Godfather.
Members of the Winfield, Ala., City Council unanimously approved a resolution in December 2014 declaring the city is “owned” by God and is a “City under God.” Council members are, from left, Grant Webb, Gloria Stovall, Max Brasher, Mayor Randy Price, Rusty Barnes and Steve Martin. (Contributed by City of Winfield)
Al.com also shows a monument to the Ten Commandments that Price has erected at his business—a “wrecker service.” (To you non-Americans, that’s a company that tows away damage or destroyed cars.)
h/t: Su
138 Comments
So, by law, if I changed my name to God, then I could go there and I would own the town.
That’s pretty awesome. An entire town.
I wonder what the court preceding would look like.
“We gave the town to God.”
“Yes, I’m God. See, it says so on this legally binding document.”
“You aren’t God.”
“But I am.”
“You aren’t the God of the Bible.”
“That’s not what you said when you gifted the town to me.”
I was thinking the exact same thing when I read the article. If they are going to deed the town to “God”, there’s a real opportunity there for the right person named God.
As much as I think the town is utterly wrong on this, their reasoning is a logical extension of the Supreme Court’s allowance of the use of the sectarian “In God We Trust” motto and the “under god” in the pledge. I think it proves that SCOTUS has been utterly wrong in allowing the use of “god” in government, pretending a secular purpose to something that is the opposite.
Emo Phillips once contemplated changing his name to Anonymous so he could go to museums and say “I donated that painting and I’d like it back now.”
All I can say is, it’s worth a shot!
I think the big problem would be in getting a court to allow a name change to God.
Jesus, they have to accept. There are lots of people named Jesus (or “hey sues”).
But I image that they would balk at “God”. Of course, they could only balk for religious reasons, which would be an interesting court battle in and of itself.
If you are named God, there are some unexpected problems!
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20805832,00.html
Cut and paste did not work – maybe this will:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,20805832,00.html
One more try and then I give up 🙂
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20805832,00.html
Arghhh
“A New York City man claims that a credit reporting agency falsely reported he had no financial history because his first name is God.
According to the New York Post, God Gazarov of Brooklyn says in a lawsuit that Equifax has refused to correct its system to recognize his name as legitimate.”
We have all been there.
Well, if there’s one group who would be bossing God around, it would be credit agencies.
Why should he bother? He can go claim his town, kick everyone out, sell the land and profit.
Or make it into an actual town.
Maybe, or maybe not.
There is a downside to your idea, however.
Because then you would be the “proud” owner of Winfield, Alabama.
Paraphrasing Anthony Ward Clark, if you are given 24 hours to live, spend it in God’s own Winfield, Alabama – because I’m sure a day there feels like a f**king eternity!
Your proposal reminds me of an old joke I saw somewhere:
I am both the only atheist in town — and God. I know I must be God because every time the preacher sees me coming he cries out “Oh God, not you again!”
There may be something to this. I may try to get this on the Oregon ballot for Portland. That way if it’s God’s town they can levy him the street repair taxes.
Oh, that’ll make me feel so much more secure driving across Burnside.
Sorry – Not even a god can protect you there
You know, if God really wanted to prove he existed, I think that replacing all the I-5 on & off ramps in the city with something that didn’t look like they were designed by MC Escher would be a great way.
I wonder if the citizens of Providence, Rhode Island have ever contemplated prefacing the name of their fair city with “Divine.”
One would think that when it was named it was simply understood that was the full version. 🙂
Concur. 🙂
arrrgh
Don’t be disappointed. You have to spend a fortune to hire comedy writers to make up stuff that the good citizens of Alabama provide for free.
you DO have a point…
Is it talk like pirate day already?
No, pirates say arrrrrrrr, not arrrrgh;-)
(At the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF), whenever the piracy warning is flashed, “those in the know” growl “arrrrrrrrr”;-))
Presumably the citizens can stop paying taxes now, after all God will provide for everything.
the middle one?
The middle is occupied by no one 🙂 I do think that the reference was to the dude in black shirt and white tie.
I’m guessing that the town probably had a ‘Anyone different, GTFO’ kinda feel to it even before this. The resolution just makes it official.
This reminds me of a great exchange in the movie The King’s Speech (I love that movie; Collin Firth well deserved his Academy Award)):
George VI: “I’ve been told by my doctors that cigarette smoking is good for the health”
Lionel Logue: “They are idiots”
G VI: “They’ve all been knighted!”
LL: “That makes it official.”
They don’t specify exactly which god they are talking about, so I will be in a race with the OgreMkV to change my name and move to ‘Bama.
That was my first thought: “Which god?”
How can someone own a city, is it legal? Have they now become a dictatorship, but with an invisible dictator that can’t talk to anyone. It’s going to be confusing when someone thinks that God spoke to them so they relay what he said and then someone else says that God spoke to them and they say something contradictory. I expect there will be a few celebrities now trying to own a city. Maybe this will become a new reality TV show.
Pretty much the whole Bible belt already *is* a reality show.
I found this pitifully hilarious. I read that one of the (apostatic) residents is suing via the Freedom From Religion Foundation so all is not yet lost to god.
As for Alabama, there is at least one place that redeems the rest of the state: the Birmingham civil rights museum. It is so extraordinary and so powerful I would recommend that every U.S. citizen spend a day there. It and the associated sculpture park across the street, which takes visitors on a path through the hateful and deadly white response to civil rights marchers and protestors, are more than worth the trip. They are a mighty, always relevant history lesson.
And Huntsville. I heard the average state IQ was cut in half when Werner von Braun was out of town.
Thank you for the suggestion. I plan to act upon it.
But – I thought that Birmingham was an entirely Muslim city. I’m sure that’s what the man on Faux News said. People eating Mullah rice on street corners.
Huntsville has more per capita PhDs than any other American city. NASA’s US Space & Rocket Center got me into science as a career.
Perhaps just a nit to pick, but I have never seen data that would confirm this claim. Closest I found was engineers, and that was only for the state. Forbes lists Boulder, while other sources list places like Los Alamos and Oak Ridge, and college towns like Champaign/Urbana, IL, Sante Fe, NM, State College, PA, Byron, TX, Ann Arbor, MI, Iowa City, IA, Lawrence, KA, and Columbia, MO.
A fine collection of teh best thinkers in Alabama and one Mafia Don, the Mayor. What could go wrong when the mean IQ of the leadership in the town is room temperature. Not to worry The Baaby Jebus here to save the day!
Careful! Room temp in Alabama can be quite high.
Took me a second to realise you were using Fahrenheit.
God isn’t the Mayor. The Mayor is Randy Price, the bloke middle right in the photo. Unless Randy is God (probably preferable to God being randy). Also Steve Martin hasn’t aged very well, he still looks funny. There’s that old joke about praying to God but only yourself can hear your prayers, therefore you’re God. Maybe Randy took that seriously.
Whereas, this is a federally illegal real estate transaction.
He has an odd definition of “forefather”, since that phrase only appeared when added to the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954, by Eisenhower.
“Forefathers,” “Dad,” they’re the same thing, right?
Yes, that’s one of several phrases I skip or modify on the rare occasions I have to say the pledge!
“.. and though prayer ..”
You can’t have a proclamation like that and NOT have a typo in it …
It always engenders a moderate feeling of disgust in me to see such ridiculous statements so proudly made. I feel sorry for them, but I really wish they would get out of my way.
No problem too small to overcome? That sounds like a pretty feeble deity to me.
@Chrisbuckley80: That comment reminds me of a quote I was thinking of recently in a different context. The quote was from some book I read in high school and I don’t remember either the book or the exact quote, but it was something like “your god must be pretty puny if he needs the likes of you to do his boxing for him”.
A Freudian slip revealing these Pharisees’ narcissism of small differences, perhaps?
He has a very limited understanding of history. I was a kid when “our forefathers” said that.
It is clear that Winfield isn’t a hot bed of quality education.
I do believe the Mayor shot himself in the foot. God may own the town, but the Mayor owns “…a company that tows away damage or destroyed cars.”
Like God’s going to allow car accidents to continue? Not likely.
Something about absentee landlords springs to mind. And attractive nuisances, too, maybe?
b&
Attractive?
Good point….
b&
I wonder what they will do in the event of an Act of God. I mean, if there’s a tornado will they have to hold the owner responsible?
On the bright side, maybe this gives us a chance to subpoena him….
b&
You can go to his address, but getting him to show his face or hold his hand out is another thing.
Doesn’t he usually hold both hands out?
$38,000 in rural Alabama will get you a standard of living comparable to $200,000 in New York City, or twice that in San Francisco.
Just look at housing and food costs.
Or maybe if one only looks at housing and food costs. If one’s “standard of living” includes employment opportunities, an arts scene and decent Chinese food, the comparison may be a tad less favorable.
There is a good chance anyone in Godtown with disposable income spends a good portion of it traveling to, you know, New York and San Francisco. Or at least Atlanta.
New York or San Francisco, I hardly think so. Vegas maybe, but New York and San Francisco have “those” people.
I’m sure you’re right. As if living in Alabama weren’t already enough of a gamble.
BTW, Wikipedia tells me Winfield’s population has been in steady decline since 2010. So there’s just that much more God to go around for the ones who stay I guess.
For New Yorkers, Alabamans are “those people.”
But just for perspective, My father was born in rural Virginia. I mean, the town on his birth certificate has only one building.
I was born in what is now an NFL city, albeit southern.
My daughter teaches at CUNY and just bought a house on Long Island. My son is buying a condo in Manhattan.
Their salaries eclipse the best I have made, but I have three times the square footage. And i have Meyer lemon tree with several hundred lemons. But I could possibly be retiring to New York. If I can ever retire.
Start selling those Meyer lemons up in NYC!
Couldn’t cover the cost of shipping. I’m making lemon syrup, which will become lemon soda for the rest of the year.
Real lemonade from fresh squeezed lemons is ambrosia on earth. But I expect you know that.
Not to mention Limoncello-beyond Ambrosia!
We take our mom’s Meyer lemons…they are like gold. Lemon bars, lemon cakes…yum.
New York…San Francisco…Atlanta?
A big weekend in Branson, Missouri, is more like it.
Nailed it!
Okay, let’s hold down the randy jokes if we can. I see that I am not first to note the Under God thing, was not the “forefathers”. It may have been your father, there boys, based on the ages we are looking at. Around 1956 but I’m just estimating.
Anyway, it was those guys who needed god, not the founders. Sweet Home Alabama – but not for me.
I’m sorry, I mean it as a sign of affection for the name Randy. It’s a wonderful name and I’ve never met one in person.
From the oracle of Wikiness:
Well yeah, I guess that passes the Lemon Test all right. As clear an example of ceremonial Deism as I’ve ever seen.
“the dedication of our nation and our people to the Almighty”
Almighty? Too bad he can’t save more than one kid per plane crash …
Sam destroys the Xian nonsense
“We acknowledge that at all times, He is in control”.
That’s actually good news for the taxpayers, right? Why bother having a mayor or a City Hall, a police force or a fire station when God Almighty is in control of the town at all times?
These are just simple farmers, people of the land, the common clay of the New West. You know – morons.
Whoa there! There are a few farmers here 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHJbSvidohg
I love how Cleavon is clearly so determined to not crack up until after Gene delivers the punch line. I imagine that scene has plenty of outtakes before the good one….
b&
I love that clip. To me, it looks like Wilder ad libbed the “morons” — that it was originally something else.
I’m sure there was plenty of ad-libbing in that movie…I can’t imagine that crowd, of any, playing nearly anything straight….
b&
I must see that movie again.
Heh, merely a Mel Brooks joke. I see Ben Goren posted the clip.
I was inspired by the Mayor’s “there’s not but one God and, that one God, to Him be the glory.” Bless his heart.
“Of course it involves Alabama, which I’m starting to think of as a different country, not a different state.”
Maybe you should follow the example set by The Economist and publish a map of the USA that omits Alabama.
Weird… If God is in control at all times, why then do they also feel the need to pray for guidance?
It’s a shame godless Oregon will not be the team to dispatch Alabama from the national championship tonight – that honor fell on honorary southern state Ohio this particular season.
To be fair, while Alabama as a whole is the worst US state in cases of Diabetes, it does rank ahead of Mississippi in overall bad health (buoyed by its second-place ranking in low rate of binge drinking), cardiovascular illness, infant mortality, and cases of Chlamydia.
So, look out, Arkansas! With God on their side, Alabamans will soon be the new 48th state!
Hard to take such idiocy seriously. I suppose the two major legal challenges to this official ‘statement’ hinge on: 1) the word ‘owner’ in the first sentence (own seems to me to have a very specific legal definition and I am not sure that the Mayor and town council can assign ownership of community property without due process, especially to a third party without proof of its existence)and 2) the implied litmus test of religiousity inherent in the second sentence as a precondition for serving in public office.
Well, I suppose the import of “resolution” will differ by jurisdiction, but a resolution typically doesn’t have the binding effect on the government or citizens that an ordinance would. In principle, an ordinance is a statement of policy that the city council may refer back to when drafting ordinances, but it’s not a requirement.
I find the first statement creepy and weird, and the whole thing sounds like an affirmation a football team might make before a game – which affirmations I also find creepy and weird. The irrelevance and weaseliness (with apologies to actual weasels, who are far less weaselly) is secured by the use of the word “acknowledge,” which one might take to mean it’s a passive observation of “fact,” not a legal imperative.
The problem for Winfield, I think, would come in a hiring action (that is to say, not-hiring someone) or other use of official power: if there is the appearance that the city is putting some religious interest ahead of constitutional duty, they are likely to be in for the usual world of hurt. The wonderful thing about this resolution is it puts them on the ACLU’s and the FFRF’s respective radars, ensuring mischief will not go unnoticed.
Having said that, in a sane world, this resolution would be treated as an Establishment Clause violation – since we do not live in a sane world, though, I am not holding my breath … !
Oops. Should have been: “In principle, a resolution is a statement of policy …”
The use of the term “acknowledge” here is deliberately designed to sound innocent but be defiant. Same with talking about how we “recognize” God.
They’re placing God’s existence beyond any legitimate question. Only people who have something wrong with them will not acknowledge or recognize God the way you would if someone walked right up to you on the street. Atheists and — in this case — nonchristians are just pretending to not believe. They have dark agendas. They’re looking away.
Gosh, the real God is just so obvious that it didn’t occur to anyone (anyone normal, that is) to realize that there’s any controversy here.
The only controversy is whether or not we’ll bow down to Him.
@Sastra: “…the way you would recognize if someone walked right up to you on the street”. Ay, there’s the rub. As I said to some fellow on 42nd street in New York City who was waving a bible and shouting “Jesus is coming” — “you just let me know when he gets here!”
I saw a guy yelling to follow Jesus on 34th Street. He didn’t have an answer when I asked which way he went. Based on our two experiences, possibly south?
Hmmm I wonder. Could a city declare itself part of Canada?
They seem to be skipping some sovereignty issues (in addition to the church -state thing)
Easy there big fella, don’t make us build a wall.
And since this is sort of a light thread (relatively speaking) this might be a good time to listen to something from The Wall:
LinkText
Although actually this thread isn’t really all that trivial. These are the sort of useful idiots that facilitate the less incompetently evil.
Well there’s always time for Pink Floyd, but if you’re going to listen why not go to the original…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lX3uCuFKlqw
or this, with Katie Kissoon as Mother…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_S-Y199lRM
Now the _really_ important question: which is the true Pink Floyd, the Roger Waters – led group or the Dave Gilmour – led group? That is worth fighting holy wars over… 😉
Infidel! Only the original Syd Barrett version is the true Pink Floyd! You will burn in hell!
(You set ’em up, I’ll knock ’em down)
I was wondering when someone was going to bring in Syd Barrett 😉
The early history of Sigma 6 / Leonards Lodgers / Tea Set / Pink Floyd Sound was as convoluted as… as their later history was. Possibly the only group with a more convoluted history was Fleetwood Mac. Or maybe not…
“Mayor Price, build up that wall!”
“There are some who say in Europe and elsewhere ‘we can work with the Fundamentalists’…Let them come to Winfield!”
“There is no God but (our) God”….let’s see; where have I heard THAT one before?
Sounds like Christian rock.
What like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa0EtdtPi8w
???
Oh sorry that was Christian rap not Christian rock. Either way the god-awfulness of it is outstanding.
The fact that God did not strike these people down during that performance proves he doesn’t exist.
Q.E.D.
🙂
Or possibly, it just proves that God has no (musical) taste whatever…
As my dad sometimes tells JW’s who come to his door, “The Jewish god is going to be super pissed with you for trying to steal him for yourselves. He has no covenant with you!”
City council declares that an Alabama town now belongs to God: America responds, “He can have it!”
There. IFIFY.
I know this is all in good, clean fun, and I agree with most of it, especially this silliness in Winfield, but you might not want to take us off the map just yet. Some of us do try to use the brain that Jebus gave us. Not many, but some. Also, I always say “Alabamian,” not “Alabamans.” But I could be wrong.
Noted. No US state is monolithic in its stereotype, at either end of the bumpkin-to-cosmopolitan spectrum. My late father-in-law was from rural Georgia and there are some pretty ignorant racist bible-thumping crackers in my wife’s family – but every one of them is unfailingly loving, kind and generous when we visit. And just to note, each household also has at least one kid who defies the stereotype (and, in each of those cases, got the heck out of town when they turned 18 – including my wife’s dad).
I left when I was young, but came back to take care of my aging parents. Then shit happened. Most of the “ignorant racist bible-thumping crackers” I know (and I know many!) are kind and generous as long as they’re using the parts of their brains that are not infected by religion. I do what I can. I have three sons who have critical thinking skills. Small victories, you know.
The ones that remain constitute much of today’s republican base.
Wouldn’t be surprised if their “forefathers” patiently taught their slaves to sing Christian hymns and if, more recently, you couldn’t melt butter in the mouths of the ones who handed out literacy tests and collected poll taxes.
Hell, ’em boys that wired up the Sixth Street Baptist Church to blow? Probably loved their mamas, too.
Exactly.
Perhaps a jihadist can give the mayor a call and say “Allah-hu Akbar!”. Just a friendly reminder.
A whole new meaning to the term slumLord.
Good one!
Ah, stupid is as stupid does. The guy obviously hasn’t got a clue where the “one nation under god” came from. ‘Forefathers’ indeed – in his case it could have been his dad and certainly no one earlier than his grandpop.
Which God? Odin? Brahma? Zeus? Please clarify so we know where to send a paycheck.
I suggest my personal favorite, Ganesh.
Asked why he would want to claim ownership of this town, God, sticking to his policy of the last 2,000 years, refused to make any comment.
One is tempted to peruse the “Legal Notices/Property Transfers” section of the local newspaper for this transaction.
According to the Census Bureau, things are as bad as you’ve said for Alabama for the entire US. The three average (2011-13) poverty percentage for all Americans is 14.8(±0.2)%, for Alabama it is 16.1(±1.2)% (90% confidence intervals are given.)
https://www.census.gov/hhes/www/poverty/about/overview/
Then if that town is owned by God, the federal government clearly doesn’t need to send them any money, nor provide any welfare for the town’s poor, because they’ve stated that God will provide. Let’s see how long they last on their own.
What resolution? It’s all “Whereases” with no “Now therefore”. It’s a resolutio interruptus.
Political Onanism.
Sorry, I just committed ejaculatio praecox (commented at 43 before reading to the end).
Whereases? Aren’t all their asses in God’s town?
It is an ill wind that blows through any town whose mayor plays dress up in Sheldon Leonard’s costume from Guys and Dolls.
I hope He doesn’t Sit down! Everybody Duck! Random capitalization Alert!
Notably absent from the photo is a ribbon and anyone holding a large pair of scissors. The custom for these types of transfers is for the honoree to cut the ribbon, and God just isn’t there for the ceremony. Hmmm…
All those ‘Whereas”s! The so-called ‘resolution’ consists entirely of subordinate clauses, without a main verb in sight, so qua resolution it strikes me as logically void.
A bit like the town’s council, and its reputed owner.
This now makes the payment of local taxes illegal, as taxes are now a required form of church tax. I think I see a lawyer full employment area.