Schrödinger’s guru: dead or alive?

May 29, 2014 • 10:22 am

Nobody knows for sure! From the Independent.ie, we have this hilarious piece (an excerpt is below):

His Holiness Shri Ashutosh Maharaj, the founder of the Divya Jyoti Jagrati Sansthan religious order, with a property estate worth millions, died in January, according to his wife and son.

However, his disciples at his ashram have refused to let the family take his body for cremation because they claim he is still alive.

According to his followers, based in the Punjab city of Jalandhar, he simply went into a deep Samadhi, or meditation, and they have put his body in a commercial freezer at their ashram to preserve it for when he wakes.

. . . Punjabi police initially confirmed his death, but the Punjab High Court later dismissed the police report. Officials said it was a spiritual matter and that the guru’s followers could not be forced to believe he is dead.

First of all, how it is possible for a frozen guru to wake up, even if he is alive? He’s frozen—a Gurusicle!

Second, whether someone is dead or alive is not a spiritual matter, but an empirical matter. That’s independent of whether his crazy followers believe he’s alive.

Third, doesn’t his body belong to his family?

Here’s Schrödinger’s Guru when he definitely was alive. I’m not sure what the groinal point means:

babanurmahal_compressed

And a funny headline from the Mar. 2 Times of India:

Screen shot 2014-05-29 at 7.22.19 AM

h/t: Grania

45 thoughts on “Schrödinger’s guru: dead or alive?

  1. >>Third, doesn’t his body belong to his family?

    If he has written in his will, that his body belongs to his follower rather than his family, then the answer is no.

    1. But if his followers don’t believe he’s dead, how can they appeal to his will for support?

  2. “completes 1 month in freezer”? Sounds like someone thinks this is a real accomplishment. I wonder what his goal is.

      1. Ha ha! I think I have ice cream that has been in their for months if not a year. It’s freezer burned though.

      2. But have your fish sticks written endless tomes of (variably) sophisticated theology on [insert topic of disinterest here], to the acclaim of other (variably) sophisticated theologians? Or even, if you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel, Deepakitty himself?
        They’re dictating it to you as we speak? L.Ron Hubcap had better watch out!

    1. Someone (I thought it was Zaphod Beeblebrox, but apparently not) in Hitch hikers guide spent a year dead for tax reasons, perhaps this guy is just trying to cut back on filling in the forms!

        1. …played from orbit to avoid the shockwaves from the speaker stacks. The best listening was was supposed to be from distant nuclear bunkers.

  3. I have a memory from maybe the ’80s that the body of someone of considerable wealth (I seem to recall some connection to a nationally-prominent circus) had been kept in a freezer in Florida(?) for a half-century, while the estate wrangled over burial details. But various searches turn up nothing. Anyone recall anything along those lines?

  4. Gurusicle! That’s a good one. Trademark that one.

    Re the groinal point:

    1. Look, it’s ALIVE!
    2. If you experience an erection lasting
    more than four hours…(update; four
    months).

    1. AdamK FTW.

      I think a “Weekend at Bernie’s”-style lecture by the quantum consciousness of Ashutosh Maharaj would be every bit as insightful as one by Deepak, and a whole lot less embarrassing to listen to.

  5. This just in: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still valiantly holding on in his fight to remain dead

  6. Groinal point? This particular disciple thought the guru was dead even though he seemed alive, since he had been sitting in that position with raised hand and fixed smile for two and a half years (and there was a certain odour of sanctity). So he thought he would check his pulse. The femoral artery is pretty indicative if the subject isn’t ticklish or doesn’t resent invasion of his private regions (or is in fact dead).

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