Religious humor

January 10, 2014 • 11:30 am

I’ve finally collected enough of these to post. The first is about as succinct a summary of Christianity as I’ve seen:

Salvation for dummies

A reader whose name I forgot (sorry!) sent me this photo, and I’ve added the caption:

Screen shot 2014-01-10 at 7.45.50 AM

And I love this one, also sent by a reader whose name escapes me:

image001

h/t: The readers whose names I’ve lost

57 thoughts on “Religious humor

  1. WWJD? He wouldn’t drive a car, he would take his burro. So where is your burro?
    [Caption of pic with Xian in the driver’s seat looking perplexed.]

              1. “He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his jokes with him.”

  2. Does someone want jokes? Well here are some:
    From Christian school and church road signs:

    “We put the fun in fundamentalist dogma.”

    “Staying in bed shouting ‘Oh God!’ does not constitute going to church!”

    “Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has”

    “Stupidity got us into this mess, why can’t it get us out?”

    1. Your second one is awesome; your third was cribbed from Martin Luther! Your last pretty much sums up American politics, as well as much of religion.

    1. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Amal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.

      Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.”

      Cheers,

      b&

  3. Mrs. Betty Bowers (author of Salvation for Dummies, above), aka America’s Best Christian, has a series of hilarious vids on YouTube.

  4. I love the Jesus one! Would make for a great billboard. It wouldn’t work for Europe, however. Perhaps with Mohammed instead of Jesus, given the many North African immigrants working in Italian and Spanish fields picking a large part of the continent’s produce?

    1. I had this one in my files:

      Many times when Bill is troubled or confused, he finds comfort in sitting in his back yard and having a vodka and cranberry along with a quiet conversation with Jesus. This happened to him again after a particularly difficult day.

      Bill said ‘Jesus, why do I work so hard?’

      He heard the reply: ‘Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather.’

      Bill said: ‘I thought that money was the root of all evil.’

      The reply was: ‘No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad’.

      Bill was starting to feel better, but he still had that one burning question, so he asked it. ‘Jesus,’ I said, ‘What is the meaning of life? Why am I here?’

      Jesus replied: ‘That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Senor, but for now, I have to finish your lawn.’

  5. Re the first joke…

    If god is omnipresent he is already in. So I guess when some Jehovas Witness asks me to let god into my heart it shows they just don’t know what they are talking about…

  6. The last one is the wittiest, playing on the “thank you” in Spanish with it’s literal meaning of “it’s nothing” as well as showing who really gives the food!

          1. Yeah, I don’t think I’m allowed to come up with new angles on things & spell correctly at the same time. Thinking so is hybristic and I was rightly punished by the internet gods, who clearly tricked me into my mistake like Raven or Kokopelli. 😀

            1. LOL! They’re definitely like that.

              But I had to look up hybristic, being only familiar with hubristic, so you’re still way ahead of me.

  7. So many cartoons…

    Try this one.

    And this one, refuting the divine nature of religion using no words!

    I collect religious humor for possible future use, and have saved all the good ones I find, but I’ve noticed it’s hard to post here if there are too many URLs in one post.

      1. SMBC is often brilliant, and nearly always so when dealing with religion. It vies with xkcd for my favorite.

        1. Yes and the cartoonist says he decided just to put his atheism into his cartoons and lost some people because of it but he didn’t care because those were good cartoons!

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