So in the book I Samuel of the Bible, the Philistines smite the Israelites and steal the Ark of the Covenant. They bring it to the temple of Dagon, but Dagon’s image is found the next day shattered (I Samuel 5)
4 And when they arose early on the morrow morning, behold, Dagon was fallen upon his face to the ground before the ark of the LORD; and the head of Dagon and both the palms of his hands were cut off upon the threshold; only the stump of Dagon was left to him.
Clearly Yahweh is ticked off, but that’s no surprise. The Philistines, realizing that they’re in trouble, pick up the Ark and carry it away, intending to put it somewhere else, but it’s too late. God begins filling the land with pesky mice, slaying people, and, amusingly, afflicting the people with hemorrhoids:
9 And it was so, that, after they had carried it about, the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction: and he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had emerods in their secret parts.. . .
11 So they sent and gathered together all the lords of the Philistines, and said, Send away the ark of the God of Israel, and let it go again to his own place, that it slay us not, and our people: for there was a deadly destruction throughout all the city; the hand of God was very heavy there.
12 And the men that died not were smitten with the emerods: and the cry of the city went up to heaven.
The term “emerods” has been construed variously—boils, “buboes” (the swellings from plague), anal fistulas, and so on, but to me the translation that makes the most sense is “hemorrhoids,” not only because of the similar sound (so that the translators thought that’s what the word meant), but because they’re in the Philistines’ “secret parts.”
Lacking Preparation H, the Philistines asked their priests what to do to rid themselves of their afflictions. The priests tell them to return the ark to the Israelites, but along with it they have to send a treasure: five golden mice and five golden images of hemorrhoids (1 Samuel 6):
4 Then said they, What shall be the trespass offering which we shall return to him? They answered, Five golden emerods, and five golden mice, according to the number of the lords of the Philistines: for one plague was on you all, and on your lords.
5 Wherefore ye shall make images of your emerods, and images of your mice that mar the land; and ye shall give glory unto the God of Israel: peradventure he will lighten his hand from off you, and from off your gods, and from off your land.. . .
11And they laid the ark of the LORD upon the cart, and the coffer with the mice of gold and the images of their emerods.. .
Each golden hemorrhoid was an offering on behalf of a different afflicted city:
17 And these are the golden emerods which the Philistines returned for a trespass offering unto the LORD; for Ashdod one, for Gaza one, for Askelon one, for Gath one, for Ekron one;
An artistic rendering:
You can find a more extensive discussion of this vexing Biblical issue here.