Friday: Hili dialogue (and Leon lagniappe)

August 7, 2015 • 5:30 am

The end of the week is nigh, the weather is lovely in Chicago, and all is quiet as the students (and, apparently, much of our faculty) are away. School doesn’t start until early October here (we’re on the quarter system), so we have nearly two more months of quiescence. But to compensate for my lack of any news, we have a Leon monologue in addition to a Hili dialogue. First, Hili in Dobrzyn; how she learned about qualia I’ll never know:

Hili: Do we have any qualia in the fridge?
A: No, we don’t.
Hili: Don’t we even have a few dried ones?

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In Polish:
Hili: Są w lodówce jakieś qualia?
Ja: Nie ma.
Hili: Suszonych też nie mamy?

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And we have some feline lagniappe: a Leon monologue with an explanation by Malgorzata:

Explanation: Elzbieta [Leon’s staff] was here yesterday and she said that she needed a big basket and couldn’t find the one which would fulfill her requirement. I remembered that I had a big basket upstairs in the wardrobe, full of things I didn’t need but couldn’t force myself to throw away. So I transferred them into a plastic bag and gave Elzbieta the basket. It was exactly the thing she was looking for in shops without any sucess. During the night this monologue came:

Leon: I must thank Małgorzata for this wonderful present.
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Trumpe-l’œil: the winner of Trump Your Cat contest

August 6, 2015 • 2:45 pm

Professor Ceiling Cat had an epiphany when a certain mammal of the canid persuasion was Trumped by his trusty friend: He could get staff to betray their Masters everywhere by getting them to Trump Their Cats.

And so it was written, and so it came to pass.

You can see the list of entrants here: One, Two, Three (with imposter Percy!), Four and Five.

Our favorite—and the winner of the Japanese cat tattoo book—is Lowell’s Cayenne, looking at least as well-dressed and five times as intelligent as the original model.  The person who submitted this photo should contact me by email to receive an autographed book prize:

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Honorable mention to Compo for looking suitably baleful.

Let us hope that the cats involved in this dastardly scheme never realize that their Humans were laughing, or there will be consequences.

Thanks to all who entered! I have two contests upcoming, though I haven’t yet decided what they’ll be about. One will have as a prize the complete audiobook version of Faith versus Fact.

Islamic Heaven: “A penis that never bends”

August 6, 2015 • 1:30 pm

This needs no comment save the YouTube description (below) and the gross sexual inequality it envisions in Muslim Heaven. But be sure to watch this hilarious 1.5 minute video!

Palestinian-Jordanian cleric Sheikh Mashhoor bin Hasan Al-Salman was asked during a fatwa show he posted on the Internet on June 7 whether a woman can have sex with her slave. He answered in the negative, adding that a woman may marry her slave, but then he becomes a free man and her master.

The Bible’s prescience?

August 6, 2015 • 12:00 pm

Yesterday I got an email from a reader in Illinois who claims that the Bible’s truth is attested by its prescience about later events. In Faith Versus Fact, I claimed that if the Bible had been uncannily accurate about things that were to happen in the distant future, that would be some evidence for an Abrahamic divinity.

But see how prescient this guy thought it was!:

How does the Big Bang/”Let there be light” not pass the uncannily priescient [sic] test you lay out for religion?  Or the placebo effect in medicine?  Or the Book of Daniel prediction that “Grecia” will be a great Middle East power, 400 years before Alexander the Great?  Or David writing “The Lord is my shepherd, there is nothing I shall want” 750 years before Siddhartha said that desire is the cause of suffering?  (No archaeological proof of David?  Have you read the Book of Psalms?  We have more insight into the heart of David, and more proof he had a heart, than we do into that of, say, Hillary Clinton or Ronald Reagan.)

The part about David and Psalm 23 cracks me up. As for the “placebo effect,” I have no idea what he’s talking about.

Adam Rutherford’s article on epigenetics invokes profusion of angry tw**ts from Deepak Chopra and his minions

August 6, 2015 • 10:30 am

Since I started this website, I’ve written many posts on epigenetics, a term that now refers to modification of the nucleotide base composition of DNA by the environment or by other genes. Such modification—usually involving attachment of methyl groups to two of the four bases that make up DNA—may have significant effects on the organism, ranging from changed behavior to changed appearance. But “epigenetics” has been taken up by the “Darwin-was-wrong” crowd as a way to claim that environmentally induced epigenetic modifications of the DNA can be inherited in a stable fashion over generations and even produce adaptations—a decidedly non-Darwinian mode of evolution called “Lamarckian inheritance.”

You can read my previous posts, grouped under the link above, for my skeptical views on this alternative route to the evolution of adaptations. There’s no doubt that epigenetic modification of DNA can be produced by “instructions” from other parts of the DNA, and that those genetically-based modifications can be adaptive. They can, for instance, explain why the genes from mothers versus fathers act antagonistically in the fetus, as paternal DNA is “imprinted” (methylated) differently from maternal DNA, and fathers have different reproductive interests from mothers. But this sort of epigenetic modification ultimately rests on genetic adaptation: the “instructions” coded in parental genomes. It is not something induced purely by the environment.

As for purely environmental modification of DNA, that can on occasion affect the organism, but almost never persists beyond one or two generations (the methyl groups disappear during sperm and egg formation), and to my knowledge is not responsible for a single permanent adaptation seen in nature. When the genetic basis of adaptations like spiny fins, cryptic coloration in mice, or beak width in finches is studied, it invariably rests not on environmentally-aquired epigenetic modifications, but on base-pair changes in DNA—that is, on the conventional neo-Darwinian paradigm of “random” mutations in the DNA that change its sequence, with those changes enhancing reproduction being the ones that persist. In other words, virtually every adaptation ever studied is based on conventional mutations and natural selection, not environmentally induced changes of the DNA that persist for generation after generation. What persists are the claims of would-be Kuhnians who see epigenetics as a highly significant route to adaptive evolution—one that violates conventional wisdom.

I was pleased to see that science journalist, former research geneticist, and woo-critic Adam Rutherford made these points, and others, in an article in the July 19 Guardian science section called “Beware the pseudo gene genies.” You can read it for yourself, but I’ll present a brief excerpt so you can see why it aroused the ire of Deepak Chopra. Chopra, along with his coauthor Rudy Tanzi, have recently incorporated epigenetics into their litany of woo-terms, arguing that many human behaviors can epigenetically change our DNA, and so we can do things that will help us by changing our genome. (See my critique of their specious claims here.)

Rutherford:

Lots of real scientific terms – such as “neuro” or “nano” – get borrowed for a spot of buzzword scienceyness. Epigenetics is a real and important part of biology, but due to predictable quackery, it is threatening to become the new quantum.

. . . Some limited, rare epigenetic tags can be passed down from parent to child. We’ve seen a handful of these in mice, even fewer in humans. [JAC: as far as  I know, none of these “tags” have persisted longer than three generations.]

. . . These results are complex, perplexing, but possibly slight, and demand greater examination. Science is unfortunately prone to fashion, and many scientists are intrigued but anxious that the scrutiny being applied to these studies is not robust enough to justify the fanfare.

If the changes are permanent, then we’ve got big news. But given that in mice they have at best only lasted a few generations, the effects are intriguing but not revolutionary. Creationists cite epigenetics to assert that Darwin was wrong, and that epigenetics may show Lamarckian evolution – that is, acquired during life. It doesn’t, as the changes do not alter the DNA sequence on which natural selection acts. Even if one day we did show that epigenetic tags were permanently heritable, it would still only be a drop in the evolutionary ocean. Show me one robust example, and I’ll show you a billion that are straight-up Darwinian.

Then Deepak takes a licking, but, as you’ll see, he keeps on ticking:

New age gurus such as Deepak Chopra cite epigenetics as a way of changing your life, under the false supposition that genes are destiny, and epigenetic changes brought on by lifestyle choices such as meditation “allows us almost unlimited influence on our fate”. Well, no: that sandwich you just ate has changed the expression of your genes too. Even the few inherited epigenetic changes we observe are not very predictable, let alone predictably positive. The Överkalix grandsons lived longer if their grandfathers lived through famine. But the granddaughters of women who had survived fallow seasons had lower life expectancy. Conclusion? Much more work needed.

Rutherford reached his conclusions about epigenetics independently of mine, but they’re identical, and I’m pleased that such a sound and skeptical thinker is on the sam page as I. He continues:

Epigenetics is fascinating but still in its infancy. It’s not heretical, it won’t upend Darwin, or give you supernatural powers, but it is a necessary pursuit in our never-ending quest to unpick the inscrutableness of being. More, unhyped, work is needed, and mystical thinking is never welcome round these here parts.

And then the Twi**terstorm began, with Rudy Tanzi, Chopra’s co-author, initiating the fracas. I’m grateful to Matthew Cobb for tracking down the tweets, and he now informs me that they’ve all been collated by Jo Brodie at a Storify site called “Adam v. Deepak: 4-5 August 2015.” Have a look—it’s a hoot! Here’s just a few:

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The credential-mongering begins, with Chopra implying that Rutherford (who has a Ph.D. in genetics, for crying out loud) is not as qualified as a “real scientist” like “Harvard Prof” Tanzi:

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It went on and on, with Chopra getting increasingly peeved and, as usual, dropping his mask of calmness to show the petulant prima donna beneath. Chopra really is a nasty piece of work.

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Brian Cox pitched in, with some advice from Yoda:

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See the rest at the Storify link.

The ecology of Heaven

August 6, 2015 • 9:00 am

Here’s a scientifically based cartoon from SMBC about the relationship between ecology and immortality in Heaven. (One might call it “ecological theology.”) Sadly, the r versus k distinction has lost momentum over the years, as they are two ends of a continuum, and there are alternative as well as mixed reproductive strategies for single species. More important, there is a huge biological problem with one of the artist’s assumptions. Can you spot it?1438786209-20150805h/t: Gregg

NSFW? – katydid pre-mating sperm removal

August 6, 2015 • 7:45 am

by Matthew Cobb

This neat video by Ralf Jochmann, with commentary, shows katydids (or bush crickets, if you prefer) mating and above all, shows the male using his bits to remove sperm from previous males from the female. These scenes are rather detailed, so you might find them icky, or your colleagues might find you weird.

Just to explain a few things: in this video the male is the larger insect, underneath at the beginning. The female has the curled-up ovipositor at the end of her abdomen. Mating in these species is not penetrative, but instead involves the transfer of a spermatophore – the white blobby thing – from the male to the female, which the female picks up with her genital apparatus.

Spermatophores often contain substances that increase the female’s fitness, and/or which indicate the male’s fitness to the female. Before the male of this species gives up his gift, he makes sure that he has removed sperm from rival males who have mated with the female. The second half of this video features this process, in close-up. You have been warned.

[JAC: Once again, “natural selection is cleverer than you are.”]

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Reference: von Helversen D and von Helversen O. (1991) Pre-mating sperm removal in the bushcricket Metaplastes ornatus Ramme 1931 (Orthoptera, Tettigonoidea, Phaneropteridae). Behavioral Ecology and Sociobiology28.6 (1991): 391-396. Link here.

The dark side of the moon

August 6, 2015 • 6:45 am

Have you ever seen the other side of the Moon? This is usually impossible, as the moon rotates at exactly the speed it orbits the earth, so we see only one side.

However, a GIF tweet from NASA shows it wonderfully (click on the arrow to begin):

h/t: Grania