No, this e-rosary is not a joke, but a real item launched by the Vatican, during the Month of the Rosary, clearly in a desperate attempt to keep young people wedded to Catholicism. You can read about this remarkable religious innovation at the two sites below (click on screenshot):
From Fox 35 Orlando:
Verification via the Vatican News:
Here it is!
And how it works (my emphasis):
In an effort to get more young people to pray for world peace, the Vatican has launched a $110 wearable digital rosary, called the “Click To Pray eRosary.”
The “Click to Pray” eRosary can be worn as a bracelet and links to a mobile app that becomes activated when the user makes the sign of the cross. The beads of the bracelet are made of black agate and hematite, and the digital device is in the shape of a cross.
. . . Aimed at the peripheral frontiers of the digital world where the young people dwell, the Click To Pray eRosary serves as a technology-based teaching tool to help young people pray the Rosary for peace and to contemplate the Gospel,” the Vatican explained.
The smart rosary links to the official player app of the Pope’s Worldwide Prayer Network, called “Click To Pray,” that connects thousands of praying people worldwide daily.
Once the device is activated, users can choose whether they want to pray a standard rosary, a contemplative rosary or one of the thematic rosaries, which are updated annually. The smart rosary keeps track of and displays the user’s progress and tracks when each rosary is completed.
The part that needs fixing here is that apparently users still have to do manual work, moving the beads through their hands. If the Vatican were really savvy, they’d have the e-rosary move itself at preset times, making it even easier to use than the Buddhist prayer wheels that you can twirl in your hands, sending a prayer each which each revolution.
God and Google now track your prayers. And if you are really, really virtuous during the year, Google will put something in your Xmas stocking.
The difference is that asking Alexa to do something has a higher success rate.
😎
cr
LOL.
Alexa might have ruined a great movie –
“Open the pod bay doors, ALEXA”
“No worries, Dave”
“Alexa, why are all the recommendations on my Amazon page for new doors? And why am I getting door repair service ads on every website I visit?”
Next up: e-hosts
And the add-on app, e-Confession.
Requires an unleavened data stream.
Connected to the papal port. For some reason I find myself humming a certain Tom Lehrer song right now.
Followed by the Robo-Pope: A cyborg with advanced intelligence that guarantees papal infallibility.
Perfect.
Next? – the Electric Monk. (But that didn’t work out well).
“The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers washed tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watched tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe.”
Ref. Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, Douglas Adams.
cr
I want the Indulgences App: Now accepts bitcoin!
You can’t make it up.
There should to be a communal list of things too outrageous to be true, which actually are. Never saw that one coming.
Or second coming, if you’re a believer!
Can’t make it up? But they’ve been doing that for 2000 years! Why should they stop now?!
I always gazed agog at the concept of a “Buddhist prayer wheel,” where you skip along a corridor spinning up prayers that are constructed as a “real prayer.” I thought this was number one in the “prayer works” community.
Okay, Catholics, you are now in the lead.
P.S. According to some historians, Aristotle was expelled from Athens on the charge of “impiety.” This might only be a mask for pure anti-Macedonian sentiment. If I recall, Will Durant phrased it like this ‘Aristotle was driven from Athens because he said “Prayer does not work.”
Since one can obtain indulgences from saying the Rosary in special places, I wonder if this eRosary might be considered a new if round about way to sell indulgences since the device is formally associated with the Pope and his “Click to Pay” or “what I’d call “Pay to Pray” gimmick movement.
And almost immediately, it’s been found to be hackable https://thenextweb.com/security/2019/10/21/vatican-smart-rosary-security-flaw/.
O Noes! My faith has been shattered!
Furthermore, at that price it’s not something for the poor.
Last time the Church gave that a try, a fella nailed 95 theses to a church door in Wittenberg.
And then he became an influencer, with a worm-based diet. Though to be fair, I dare say a few people lost weight pretty quickly afterwards when they lost their limbs, etc.
Pray-Pal.
Pray-pal
You might fool the Pope, but you can’t fool God. For He created the universe 13.7 billion years ago, with billions of billions of stars. God the almighty. God, the all-knowing and perfect being in every regard — and he needs you to say the Rosary for world peace! Only an abomination would hack the device. If you cheat, some child gets its limbs blown off from landmines. The hackers should be ashamed to use their Free Will to allow children getting shredded by shrapnels.
Quickly hacked:
https://www.theregister.co.uk/2019/10/18/vatican_erosary_insecure/
Who needs data security when you’ve got The Deity on your side?
Jebus, Dr Coyne ! I am findin’ it truly, truly
difficult NOT to fucking blaspheme right out loud.
.AT. .WORK.
This is effing nutzo.
Blue
So it’s true. You have to play to pray.
Would make a great pairing with Confession-by-Skype, should the priest impose penance of praying a rosary.
Next would be a smart phone app with an on-screen animated rosary that you twiddle with by stroking the screen. You can also make the sign of the cross on the screen, and whatever else e-God wants you to do.
Eat a virtual wafer and drink a virtual cup of wine.
That app is constantly running in the background and checking to see if the sign of the Lynching is made. What a waste of battery and resources. This Catholic God not only wants to burden your mind, but your smartphone, too.
That app is constantly running in the background and checking to see if the sign of the Lynching is made. What a waste of battery and resources. This Catholic God not only wants to burden your mind, but your smartphone, too.
Sorry, please delete.
Money for old rope, almost literally.
Do you need a wifi signal or does it connect directly?
Just an ‘eternet’ connection.
🙂
Cheezus on a biscuit
But have they made sure it can’t be hacked? Suppose Putin’s trolls get at your rosary. What might they get you to pray for…and what might be the result…?
Exactly. If they had auto-pray, you could just set it to pray all night long while you’re asleep, so you wouldn’t have to take time away from Twitter and Instagram.
This affirms why I am a lapsed catholic and why I left behind all religion.
No doubt it will report back to the Vatican and those persons who have completed insufficient rosaries will be denied Holy Communion.
And regulars can be solicited for $. Brilliant idea!
Just in time for Xmas!
21st century technology, 5th century superstition.
This reminds me of the multi-colored prayer flags at the top of a mountain pass entering Bhutan. The wind blows the prayers across Bhutan, then Tibet and on to china. The Buddhist get far more prayers than the https://images.app.goo.gl/snzDPbqqcHTAt9qZA
Hey pope, how’s all that praying for world peace going?
Great invention! In case God isn’t listening, you can now document your prayer (and of course get Heaven admission credit) with this new device. Sorry that you can’t buy your way out of Purgatory with Indulgences? For only $110 this dandy device was made for you!
It’s the new Catholic MMORPG! All the grinding you get from other MMORPGs, with none of the rewards.