Not satisfied with taking over the West Bank, Israel, in a clever plot probably orchestrated by Mossad, has sent Jewish animals, tardigrades, to the Moon. (Mossad has a well known history of using animals as spies or attack surrogates.) Since tardigrades can survive complete desiccation and low temperatures, their deposition on the Moon is a probable attempt to establish an Israeli foothold on another planet. After all, a Swedish scientist has shown that tardigrades are the only animal known to be able to survive in space for a minimum of ten days.
Well, the speculations above are clearly sarcastic, but, according to C|Net and other sources, a malfunctioning Israeli spacecraft has indeed, though accidentally, deposited tardigrades (“water bears”) on the lunar surface (click on screenshot, and for more see this article in Wired):
From the article:
Back in April, an Israeli spacecraft called, which carried thousands of dehydrated tardigrades (among other cargo), . Some people wondered if the water bears could survive.
Well there you go! Just substitute “Israel” for “planet Earth” and you have it. But wait! There’s more! They put human DNA up there, too, surely from Israelis:
The Israeli spacecraft was transporting Arch Mission’s first lunar library, a digital archive holding the equivalent of 30 million pages of information. It also carried human DNA samples and thousands of dehydrated tardigrades. It’s unknown how much of the cargo actually ended up on the moon’s surface following the crash.
Based on Arch Mission’s analysis of the spacecraft’s path as well as the makeup of the lunar library itself, Spivack told Wired on Monday that he’s confident the library, a “DVD-sized object made of thin sheets of nickel,” survived the crash mostly intact.
That doesn’t mean the DNA or water bears are in good shape.
“We sent enough DNA to regenerate life on Earth, if necessary,” Spivack tweeted Tuesday. “Although it would require more advanced biotech than we have to do that. At least our DNA is offsite now. But note that cells and DNA cannot survive or reproduce on the moon. Yet if retrieved they could be useful.”
“Useful” indeed—to create an apartheid planet! But wait—there’s still more:
“About the tardigrades in the Lunar Library: Some are sealed in epoxy with 100 million human, plant and microorganism cells,” Spivack tweeted Tuesday. “Some are encapsulated onto the sticky side of a 1cm square piece of Kapton tape that is sealed inside the disc stack. They cannot reproduce on the moon.”
Even though the dehydrated tardigrades can’t spring to life on the moon, they could theoretically be gathered, revived and studied to teach us about their time there.
“It is not likely that cells can survive on the moon without a lot more protection from radiation,” Spivack added. “However the human cells, plant cells and micro organisms we sent could be recovered, studied and their DNA extracted — perhaps to be cloned and regenerated, far in the future.”
Arch Mission Foundation, Nova Spivack and SpaceIL didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment.
That’s because these firms are probable covers for Mossad.
Seriously, the quotes and story are real; there are tardigrades and human DNA on the Moon. But I don’t think there was a good reason to contaminate the planet that way, even if there’s no chance of these things becoming alive. We don’t want to go mucking about with the Moon by filling it with organisms and nucleic acids.
Here’s a video showing how tough these critters are: