This is very hard to write, and is written through tears. Grania Spingies, a very good friend—though I never met her in person—and someone who, as you probably know, did an enormous amount for this website, passed away yesterday in Cork, Ireland. She was only 49, and would have turned 50 on the 23rd of June.
She leaves behind a mother and two sisters, Gisela and Gunda. Grania’s father was murdered by a burglar in South Africa 18 months ago. Her mother is bedridden and doesn’t recognize anyone, so perhaps it’s a mercy that she doesn’t know her daughter died.
Those who follow this site will know Grania’s involvement with it: she was always there to cover for me when I was on trips, to advise me when I had a website issue or wanted to know if I should write about this or that, and to discuss ideas for posts with me (she gave me plenty of them). She also wrote many of her own posts over the years, keeping us up to date on issues like abortion in Ireland and blasphemy laws.
But more than that: we Skyped nearly every day and exchanged a gazillion emails. She had a pretty solitary existence in Cork, but I made sure we kept in touch. She was a great pleasure to talk to— always rational and sensible, but with a fantastic dry wit. As I said, I never met her, though we were in constant touch for at least eight years. She often spoke of wanting to visit America, and I tempted her with all the great food she could try here that wasn’t available in Ireland, like good Southern barbecue.
On Wednesday she became ill with what seemed to be a stomach ailment. Over the next few days it didn’t go away, and I suggested that she see a doctor. She didn’t like doctors, and simply bought pain medication at the pharmacy. Her illness persisted, and by Friday I began harassing her heavily to get medical attention. On Saturday she still wasn’t better, and I made her promise to go to the doctor—an emergency clinic in Cork—by Sunday at the latest.
Here was our last email exchange from yesterday:
On Sun 16 Jun 2019, 12:32 Jerry Coyne wrote:
Are you going to the doctor today AS YOU PROMISED????
Her response:
Yes. Im on my way.
That was her last email; she never made it to the doctor. According to one of her friends, “As far as we can tell, she collapsed just outside the doctor’s office some time on Sunday and had no pulse. They did CPR and rushed her by ambulance to the hospital.” They will do an autopsy to see what killed her.
It’s 5 a.m. in Hawaii, and my brain isn’t clear enough to write more, but let me post some pictures of Grania sent to me by Gisela.
Grania was born and raised in South Africa. She went to the University of Cape Town and then spent several years teaching small children in a remote area of KwaZulu. About twenty years ago, she decided to leave South Africa and take a job with Schlumberger in Ireland, where she did financial accounting. She was a feminist, a secularist, an atheist, and formerly an active member of Atheist Ireland. She loved animals, and often spoke of her cats Trinket and Pippen and her beloved dog Frodo.
A photo of her in Africa:
Grania just before she moved to Ireland in 1999.
As an atheist, Grainia would simply laugh if she heard me say, “Rest in peace, dear friend”. So all I’ll say is that she brought a lot of light into my life, and into this site—often in ways you don’t know about. I will miss her terribly, as will her family and friends, and my heart goes out to those who were privileged to know her.
This is the way I’ll remember her: with that slight smile I’d see on Skype when she pondered the craziness of the world.
This is awful.
That is so sad. 🙁 🙁
So sorry about this news.
Holy shit! I just communicated with her the other day on Twitter. So sad. ☹️
Oh, I am so sorry for the loss of a great person and a friend.
I’m sorry for your loss
You have my deepest condolences. The loss of a friend can be hard to bear, thank you for sharing her with us.
Really sorry to hear this. My sincere sympathies…
This is shocking. I am so, so sorry.
Sincere condolences.
My sympathy.
That’s awful. From her writing I have no doubt she was a delightful person. Condolences to her family and friends. I will miss her, so I can imagine how those who knew her personally must be feeling.
Yes, these are my sentiments exactly!
What truly awful news. I am so deeply sorry.
So sorry to hear, Jerry 🙁
So sorry to hear this. We’re all going to miss her.
I don’t know her really, but in a way I felt I did…heartfelt thoughts from a stranger but a friend.
It’s terrible to hear of her passing. I’ll miss her posts and comments.
I’m gutted. My condolences to you and the rest of her family and friends. She will be dearly missed.
This is sad news. Condolences to Grania’s family and friends.
This is so sad.
oh this is very sad news ! I am fairly new to your blog but I often have seen her name here when you are away or ill. She was simply a woman of great character. My sincere condolences both to you and to her family
Sad news indeed. My deepest condolences to all who knew and loved her.
sorry my name is Paul
I am so, so sorry for your loss and for all the others who knew and loved her. This is so tragic. I didn’t know her personally, of course, as I don’t know you personally, but I read this site every day and it feels like I do (or did). So sad.
Bloody hell! This is terrible news. So sad.
So very sad. My condolences to her family and friends.
So sorry for your loss. Very sad news indeed.
My deepest sympathy on the loss of your friend. We will all miss her. This is so sudden and shocking. If only Grania had got to the doctor sooner, perhaps she would still be with us. But I understand her reluctance. I’m a bit that way.
So young, so young… This is so sad.
Condolences to you, to Grania’s family and to her friends.
She will be missed.
Devastating news…and she was much too young for this to happen…
So sorry for the loss of your friend Jerry. so sorry. Condolences to her family.
What a tragedy for everyone and for PCC. Words kind of mean nothing.
I’m so very, very sorry to hear this. Grania’s posts were some of my absolute favorites, and the few exchanges I had in the comments with her were an absolute delight. She was kind, knowledgeable, funny, intelligent, and engaging. What a terrible loss.
Condolences to you, Jerry, and to everyone else who knew and cared for her.
My god, that’s devastating.
I always looked forward to her take on so many issues, especially those regarding Ireland.
Truly sad news. My condolences to you and to her family. We will miss her on WEIT
What a shock! I am so sorry about this. Every WEIT regular will have known her name and seen her remarks and posts and understood how important she was to the running of the website. She was part of our strange extended family. My condolences to Jerry and to Grania’s family and friends. Even though we never knew her, we will miss her!
I am so terribly sorry.
“Thanks for the memories.” to everyone we have ever loved…
Very sad to lose a friend.
My condolences.
Take care,
So very sorry to hear this. What a shock. My condolences.
I’m so very sorry over the loss of your dear friend.
I am so terribly sorry for your loss, Jerry. Grania’s contributions to the WEIT community were always valuable and thought provoking. I am deeply sad 🙁
So sorry to hear the news ,seems she was a good person who led a good life .Don’t know what else to say ,take care .
That comes as a schock, deeply sorry. Take care, Jerry. 😿
Oh Jerry…this is mind-blowing. I’m so sorry to hear that Grania has died. I’m so sorry that you’ve lost a dear friend. Y’know, sometimes Cyberfriends can mean as much as a physical friendship in meatspace.
Grania was a presence here on your site. I was always happy to see when Grania was posting something. You most of all are bereft and impoverished by this death, but so also are those who care for you and your site and feel at home here.
Goodbye, dear Grania. Thank you for your presence here.
I omitted her sisters and family members and friends. I was so busy focusing on Jerry most of all and failed to express my condolences to the other people who knew and loved her.
I hope, in sending our condolences to her family, we can make clear, through Jerry, our great appreciation for her work on WEIT. She certainly made her mark and will be missed by all of us.
Far too young. This news really, really sucks. At least you’re away from home and on a beautiful island…don’t know if that helps at all though.
🙁
I feel… totally shocked… the world is a sadder place. So sorry for Jerry & all her friends – we only knew each other from twitter…
I am sorry to hear this – Grania has been a brilliant contributor to your site over the years. It’s very sad she didn’t take your advice earlier.
This is such sad news; my condolences to those who knew her. I will miss her contributions to this site. I especially appreciated her coverage of the Hili Dialogues when PCC was away or under the weather.
Stunning. My condolences to you, Jerry, on the loss of a dear friend.
Words fail me.
If anything is needed – Please be sure and let us know.
Terrible and devasating.
I never met her, or even communicated with her, but by being so prominent on WEIT she was, how shall I say it, part of the family.
Of course I’m reminded of the early death of my wife, at 27. And two weeks ago I got the news that my best South African friend, Ian Everson, was found dead in his apartment in Khartoum.
Why do all the good ones go, while the evil ones appear to have eternal life?
Strange, she left SA 20 years ago, and I moved to SA 20 years ago (1999).
So sad she died, really unexpectedly. Could she have been saved if she had gone to a Dr or Hospital earlier?
We don’t know and these kind of questions drive you crazy.
Sorry for both of your losses. 🙁
I feel… totally shocked… the world is a sadder place. So sorry for Jerry & all her friends – we only knew each other from twitter…
Her last retweet was typically wry – did she somehow know? https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D9G_A-DUEAIpNDV.jpg
I’m so sorry for your loss, Jerry.
I am so sorry to hear this. I enjoyed her posts and I know you cared about her a lot. Thinking of you and her family.
Very sad and distressing news. My condolences to you, Jerry, and all of Grania’s friends.
I loved seeing her name come up on posts. Of course I didn’t know her at all, but I somehow liked her through her posts. I am so very sad to hear this news.
Very sorry to hear this. Condolences.
This is a shock. I also exchanged a number of tweets with her. I always enjoyed her contributions at WEIT, and I’m sorry to see that she’s gone — and so suddenly. I wonder if she had a sudden appendix-related problem. I hope you find out what happened.
What the hell?
Knowing that Jerry was in transit, I expected to see Grania doing today’s Hili Dialogue. And when it was late, I figured the two got their wires crossed.
What the hell?
Like others, I feel as if I should express condolences to Jerry. But the loss isn’t just his. We all need condolences.
RIP dear Grania.
well said…
I did exactly the same thing 🙁
I fully expected a Grania post when I opened my browser just now
I’m so sorry for your loss Jerry and I’m glad I got to know her even a little bit by reading her posts
It’s always more painful to friends and family when a death is unexpected. I am very sad.
And so young! 🙁
My sister died when she was 35. Horrible. Horrible.
My Dad died at 86, after a very full, happy, satisfying life. Very, very different.
I know. I often think how hard it must be to lose a child. I listened to an interview with Carol Burnett and her daughter died at 38. Yet Carol Burnett is 86 now.
My deepest sympathies with Dr. Coyne and Grania’s family.
A line from the Rubayait of Omar Khayyam comes to mind: “Take the Cash and let the Credit go.” I perceive and conjecture that Grania understood the need for making the most of the present, as opposed to the uncertain future; that perhaps the quality of life is more important than the quantity. That’s my perspective, informed by the passing of my father at age 36 when I was age four. As I’m more than a decade older than Grania, each day is icing on the cake. I take nothing for granted.
“Any [great soul’s] death diminishes me . . . .”
– John Donne
So very sorry to hear the sad news.
My deepest sympathies to you, Dr. Coyne, and all the folks who knew and loved Grania.
This is shocking and terrible news, Jerry. Grania’s presence will be missed.
I’m not an emotional person, but this sad news made me cry. I could always tell when Grania wrote the Hili Dialogue, because she organized births, deaths, and events into bulleted lists, thus making them easy to read. In her honor, Jerry, consider doing the same.
So sad to lose a friend of and contributor to this website. Cut down far too soon.
This is just so sad. I don’t know what else to say.
I don’t understand- I’m astonished and saddened- I’m very confused,… my condolences. I’m so sorry, so sorry….
So very sorry for your loss.
I am heartbroken for you, Jerry, on the loss of your dear friend. My deepest sympathies.
This is so sad. I used to greatly enjoy her posts and she’ll be sadly missed.
And only 49! there is no justice and no God. It makes me angry and sad. I’m crying now for a friend I never met, or even talked to. But still.
😢
That’s sad. I always tried to thank her for her contributions. I can’t do that any more. Or maybe I can…thanks Grania.
Jerry, and any of Grania’s family who may be reading this thread, I am very sorry for your loss. Please know that she contributed immensely to many other people’s joy and understanding of this world, and left it a better place than it was before. Which is the best form of immortality.
Thank you Eric
RIP. Horribly sudden.
I can’t say anything that the previous posters haven’t already said. It’s all so sad.
Terrible, terrible news. She certainly brought light and wit and sense in abundance. She is sorely missed.
(And this reminds me why I tell my wife and son that I love them, every time I part from them. Memento mori. I’ve had my share of close calls in life; survived them all — so far. Every day above ground and vertical is a good day.)
My sympathy to you and her family. She was a lovely lady.
Nothing is enough to say for such a loss. Still, Jerry and Grania’s family should know that all WEIT readers are thinking of them at this time. Grania’s posts were wonderful and personal, so this feels to most readers like losing a friend too. She’s certainly gone too soon.
Well said.
Really sorry to hear this news. Awful for her family and yourself, Prof Coyne.
Oh no. This is so sad. She will be missed terribly.
So, so sad. My condolences to all.
Jerry, I am so very sorry. For you, for her family, and for all of us here.
What a loss of an important voice!
L
I’m so sorry to hear such sad and unexpected news – sincere condolences to all who loved and knew Grania.
Such sad news. My condolences to all.
Shocking news. I’m so sorry for your loss and so sorry to hear this devastating news.
Terrible! I loved her posts. She will be missed. I’m sorry for our loss.
Oh, my. So sad.
Jerry, I am so sorry. We’re thinking of you at this sad time x
I am so sorry. I can offer no words that have not already been written but I am truly sorry for you and us. The loss of her words, voice and intellect is sad for us all.
Very sad news. I so enjoyed her contributions to this site. She will be sorely missed. My sympathy to you and, of course, her family.
My condolences to Jerry and Grania’s family. Grania was a wonderful contributor to this site and many other places/things.
(Probably not the time to speculate; but might this be, based on symptoms and her age, an aneurysm in the lower aorta (abdominal area)? These things seem to almost always hit people in their late 40s/50s. One of these very nearly killed the father of one of my wife’s students. He had just enough time to dial 9-1-1 on his phone and that saved him (after lengthy treatment in hospital).)
What tragic news! There’s no way to express how much she will be missed–especially by Jerry, but by all of us. She enriched so many lives. So very sad.
This is such tragic news. I was looking forward to her posts while you were away and her frequent contributions to Hili Dialogue; now, in a flash, no more. I’m sure going to miss her presence on WEIT. My deepest condolences to her family and to you to you for the loss of your friend and sometime WEIT accomplice (I use that word in a positive sense and with some humor. Grania had a droll sense of humor, I thought.)
This is very sad news. I never met her but from what she placed on this site she was a good person. To go so quickly is unbelievable, to go so young with so much of her life still ahead of her is very sad. She will be missed.
What sad news.
She made a brilliant mark on the world. I am grateful for brilliant people like Grania. Did she have other writings besides these posts?
Her writing will keep her alive and relevant for a long time.