Reader John sent this tw**t showing an unfortunate pleiotropic effect of theropod morphology:
And, fortuitously, reader Bruce just sent me this humorous headline, which he said he saw on Janice Ian’s Facebook page (remember “Society’s Child“?):
T. rex badinage
June 16, 2015 • 1:42 pm
Little known fact, T Rex could give itself a BJ!
With those teeth?
No-one I know ever accused T.rex of not being brave.
On the other hand, or limb, since their reproductive anatomy probably didn’t include a penis …
Why wouldn’t it?
The relevant methodology for inferring the condition of unpreserved soft (or, er, not so soft) parts is called the extant phylogenetic bracket. For tyrannosaurid theropods, the relevant comparisons are with more basal archosauromorphs (crocodylians and turtles: penis present in all species) and the living theropod clade Aves (penis present in basal groups palaeognaths and anseriforms, though not galliforms or neoavians). Parsimonious character optimization says T. rex probably had one, but birds and lepidosaurs show that there’ve been at least three independent losses.
Your knowledge of the distribution of penises amongst tetrapod clades beats mine.
I guess that answers the question of what form Jesus took that was the most pure…at least, using the perverted Christian definition of purity….
b&
Woh! That somehow brought to mind the Geico gecko! Is he the second coming?
No, but he’ll cheerfully annoy the shit out of you telling you how much you could save on insurance.
…come to think of it, that’s probably not all that unlikely about the only realistic late career option a deity has these days….
b&
“I insure you’ll get into heaven! And it will only cost your soul. Such a deal!”
Sorry, you’ve got me thinking of Oglaf now, the comic strip which is decidedly not safe for work and whicn introduced Sithrak to the deludedly optimistic believers of it’s universe.
If a dolphin can masturbate with a dead fish (and they can, just look it up), then T. rex could also find a way to get ‘er dun.
Spoken like a primate with a highly developed frontal lobe! 😉
…and an overactive limbic system.
My neighbour agists cows at my place and the bull whacks off on a fence post.
“Any
portpost in a storm,” I always say…For dragging the conversation down into the gutter (where it started, and belongs), if I ever discover and describe an impressive, terrifying theropod species, I shall unhesitatingly not name it “Fapposaurus sturtevantii” ; I’ll keep that name for a bimbly little hadrosaurine with hairy palms.
Y’know, since having a species named for you is one of the few real ways of achieving immortality (of a kind) in your own lifetime, there is the potential there to be really cruel to people …
Then I remembered a comment that Linneaus was in the habit of naming species of weed after people he didn’t like, so there is precedent.
I was once being harangued on sexual morality by a religious nut (why he singled me out, I’ll never know), and when he mentioned masturbation, I asked him why it was wrong. He said it was “Because g*d doesn’t want us to.” At that point I pulled my arms in close and waved my hands in front of me and said, “If g*d hadn’t wanted us to masturbate, he would have given us tiny little T-Rex arms.” He stomped off, probably convinced that my feet would start smoldering any second from the hellfire that would consume me.
There’s a T-shirt to this effect: One T-rex says “I LOVE YOU THIIIIIS MUCH” and the other one says “THAT’S NOT VERY MUCH”
Eddie Izzard did an animated skit on Jesus preaching to the dinosaurs. Much hilarity ensues.
If I recall correctly, God creates marijuana, smokes it all, creates the dinosaurs and forces Jesus to go down and save them.
I’d think “Seventeen” is her biggest hit. It certainly is my favourite of her songs — it’s almost like an outcast anthem.
Society’s Child is a great song, written by Janice when she was only 13, recorded and released in 1965 after she had turned 14, and generated a lot of controversy due to its subject matter — interracial dating. At Seventeen is great too — as an intensely introverted teen when I first heard it, I could definitely relate to it, despite being a guy!
That line drawing of the She-Rex looks like something out of a Ralph Steadman cartoon.
Re: The T-Rex short-arm problem — maybe that was the start of “reciprocal altruism” (or as the T-Rex no doubt thought of it, “the buddy plan”).
… or perhaps the short arms were divine punishment for the sins of an earlier, longer-armed theropod. 😀
The 2nd cartoon is from the San Francisco Chronicle’s “Bad Reporter” cartoon which you can see online here
http://www.sfgate.com/comics/slideshow/Bad-Reporter-58048.php
You can get the one above, but I’m not sure how.
To a secularist, their best headline EVER:
(in response to J.J. Abrams taking the helm on both Star Wars and Star Trek as of a few years ago)
“J.J Abrams to become head of both Mormon and Catholic church: vows not to blend two franchises”
Interesting juxtaposition between the short arms of the T-rex and Ken Ham showing off how long his arms are.
A most elegant way of calling someone a wanker 🙂
Or at least a descendant of long armed wankers.
No doubt an adaptation that was selected for among Ham’s ancestors in the Antipodes.
It took a few million years, but god finally got it right when he invented humans, in his own image. We have to admit he certainly knew what he was doing.
Just what is it the religious have against pleasure anyway?
One word: Control.
But you knew that…
Complete and total insanity. Did someone really write that, or is it a bad joke by some deranged mind???
And a bad joke posted on Valentine’s Day, at that! (You are talking about the second picture, right?)
If dinosaurs were anything like birds (probably) it would be the male that was pretty rather than the female.
Birds are dinosaurs, so maybe their tradition of colourations were around in the time of the tyrannosaurs.
The archeological evidence demonstrates quite clearly that there was a huge market for sex toys during the Cretaceous.