Special Easter movie on television!

April 5, 2015 • 1:15 pm
Reader Ed sent me an email about a television program that I’ve seen advertised for several weeks: “The Bible Continues.” It’s a Jesus-themed show, of course, and will be shown on NBC tonight at 9 p.m. Eastern time (8 p.m. central):
Ed’s email said this:
You’ve probably been made aware of this by now, but I just ran across it today: The Bible – The Sequel!

http://www.nbc.com/ad-the-bible-continues

My first thought was, “What the HELL?” I find the website and all the promotional material for this mini-series extremely unnerving. The making and mainstream airing of the mini-series is disturbing enough, but the full scope of the promotional onslaught is downright frightening. If you click on the link to go to the A.D. Faith Companion Site from the main promotional page, you’ll be greeted with the tagline “The crucifixion was only the beginning.” LOL! That seriously sounds like something one would make up to mock such a self-important and anachronistic endeavour.

Here’s that tagline, and note that there’s a countdown clock until the show airs!:

Screen shot 2015-04-05 at 10.57.34 AM

And here are some of the “Faith Resources“; clearly, NBC is promulgating Christianity here:

Screen shot 2015-04-05 at 11.00.14 AM

If you have any doubt that this show is part of a marketing campaign to promote Christianity and swell the coffers of the producers (who include Roma Downey) and NBC, here’s the “church kit”:

Screen shot 2015-04-05 at 11.06.29 AMAnd of course Jesus loves social media:

AD-1050x787-F4-Social

 

47 thoughts on “Special Easter movie on television!

  1. Wow.

    I used to watch Rachel Maddow on her Web page the morning after her evening broadcasts. It was my only source of broadcast journalism.

    Then the ads started getting obnoxious and I wasn’t quite so religious about watching.

    Then they stopped showing full broadcasts without a cable TV subscription and I gave it up entirely.

    Now her network is going full-throttle zombie Jesus sales and I can’t even stomach up the thought of desiring to go back.

    Damn.

    b&

  2. Oh my Dog!!!! I wish I could leave an incisive, erudite reply here, but I am too consumed with laughter.

  3. so is the old testament a prequel? The Bible: The Phantom Menace

    how about some alternative titles for this “special”…

    The Bible II: Jesus and Mary’s Bogus Adventure

    The Bible II: Die Hard With a Vengeance

    Jesus Christ and the Chamber of Secrets

    Jesus Christ and the Temple of Doom

    1. The God(‘s My)father, Part II
      God Man and Jesus, the Boy Wonder
      Jesus Christ Superstar II: Who in the Hell Does He Think He Is?

      1. since I’m a child of the ’80’s I’ll add

        Jesus II: Electric Boogaloo

        and for the younger generation,

        Jesus and Mary (Magdalen) Make Porno, starring Seth Rogan as Jesus, of course!

  4. I like the judgemental look on Jesus’s face as if to say “I saw what you were doing.”

    Sure to be a fundy magnet.

  5. lolz.

    So this mini-series is on NBC and Cosmos is on Fox?

    Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

    1. Fox has three one hour documentaries. One’s about the Knights Templar, one’s about other first century preachers, and the third is about eschatological stuff.

  6. What, more sequels? I thought the “New Testament” sequel was the end of the franchise, long buried in its own success.

    Oh, well. So what will they try? The NT sequel was a retcon of the OT, the bastard lead was actually a bastard with a soft spot. And incestuous – with himself! A sure winner.

    Both the prequel and the sequel had “multiple viewpoints” (Genesis 1&2, 4 Apostles), so that is out. And they have had the usual resurrection of a killed cast member…

    Hmm. They have pretty much emptied out the writing space. Ah, I guess they could do an end run on the generic script potentialities.

    Perhaps an Armageddon crossover with the similar Ragnarök theme from the Aesir franchise? I doubt else unrelated Marvel Comics would protest them borrowing its shtick, not after MC’s running gag of “Puny gods!”

    1. Post-Armageddon Jesus vs. Post-Ragnorak Balder (as I recall, he came back from Hela’s realm to initiate a new golden age after all the other gods and their enemies had died in fiery combat).

  7. I heard about this on NPR this week. Yeah, NPR. I said the same thing. I thought it was going to be a sequel to the series “Serial”. It wasn’t. It isn’t. Sad face.

    This is one of those things that make me scratch my head. I’m beyond laughing at it. I am beyond the cynical sneers of bank runs by the network. I am out of laughter and outrage. All I have are the nails at the end of my fingertips and a scalp to scratch.

    WTF.

    It sort of feels like the Kock Brothers and the Tea Party and the Republicans have pooled their money to put on the modern-day tent revival. On FREE T.V., yes. I can’t imagine this on any of the legitimate cable networks (HBO, SHOWTIME).

    Scratching my head in wonder.

  8. Something just struck me.

    What’s included

    Twelve sermons covering the first ten chapters of Acts[….]

    Erm…I thought the whole point of preachers who had gone through seminary was that they’re supposed to be writing their own bloody sermons?

    And do the preachers who use these sermons open or close them by indicating that they’re just reading somebody else’s script? If not…isn’t that especially dishonest?

    Something’s just not right here. And, of course, by, “something,” I mean, “everything.”

    b&

    1. Believe me, writing a good sermon is not so easy, I have listened to one or two where I yearned for the priest to use someone else’s work. These people are rarely the cream of the intellectual crop.

      1. Oh, I don’t have any problems with drawing on other sources for inspiration. I don’t even have a problem with somebody reciting somebody else’s essay.

        The problem I have with it is one of attribution — and, therefore, plagiarism. Something tells me that full disclosure isn’t a factor here, that there’s not even a note in the printed program indicating the author of the sermon.

        And that just ain’t right.

        b&

          1. They are selling these items to preachers for the express purpose of using them as sermons, so how could plagiarism even enter the picture. It’s kinda like prepared lessons for teachers, which in many churches that’s what sermons are meant to be. Some teachers will use prepared lessons sometimes, then maybe their own made from scratch lessons, then maybe a few unit studies, especially if they’ve been doing it for many, many years, it’s refreshing to mix it up.

    2. A sermon is not meant to be a work of literary originality. It’s more “Here are some ideas which may help you to think about our beliefs”. After 2,000 years no-one expects to hear a new idea about Christianity every week.

      1. It’s been a while since I’ve done many church gigs, but, when I did, the sermons were mostly attempts to apply something from the Bible to current affairs. And people definitely looked down on wholesale recycling of sermons.

        b&

  9. More sequels you ask? I weep at the lack of Biblical literacy. Remember

    THE BOOK of REVELATION

    How can it miss? The Beast? 666? The Seven Seals? The New Heaven and the New Earth? (I look forward to the scene with J riding the white horse sword in hand slaughtering the unbelievers.)

    I have to admit I love this stuff. The movie will be so pious and humorless it becomes it’s own parody. So fear not friends. Stock up on the mind altering controlled substance of your preference and enjoy the show!

  10. This reminds me of the old Ace Doubles (wait for it). If you don’t remember, or have never seen, Ace used to publish two novelettes in one slim volume. They were renowned for the editing that had to be done to condense them, and for their presentation. Which leads me to the Bible:

    “If the Holy Bible was printed as an Ace Double”, an editor once remarked, “it would be cut down to two 20,000-word halves with the Old Testament retitled as ‘Master of Chaos’ and the New Testament as ‘The Thing With Three Souls.’”

    1. Remember the Phillip Jose Farmer parody of
      the Ace double? He had a pastiche of Tarzan
      on one side & a pastiche of Doc Savage on
      the other, & the stories met in the middle.

  11. Presumably they are regarding Acts as somehow having the same historical validity as the Gospels. I think they are right, although not in the way they think. I understand that even some quite conservative biblical scholars accept that Acts (or Luke/Acts as some have it) is a work of ‘theology’ rather than ‘history’, ie almost completely made up.

      1. Well, some of the bits about the bickering in Jerusalem may have some remote origin in reality. And Simon Magus may be based on a real character: Hermann Detering (‘The Fabricated Paul’) thinks he was the origin of Paul himself.

        But what do I know? I just read stuff and try to get a handle on what is evidence and what isn’t.

    1. I’m of the view that Acts and the gospels have the same historical validity – i.e., effectively zero. Somehow I don’t think that’s what the folks doing the movie have in mind, though.

  12. For crying out loud. This is new?

    There was already a bad miniseries that was produced in the early 80’s called “A.D.”

    It was supposed to be a sequel of sorts to 1978’s “Jesus of Nazareth.” Which was actually well-crafted and well-acted.

    This new thing has the same name? Oof.

  13. Yeah, I’ll stick with “Salem” tonight. At least I know the religious stuffs in that show are really meant to be fictitious and entertaining.

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