23 thoughts on “It is finished

      1. Twelve tongues a-talking
        Eleven apostles freaking
        Ten linens lying
        Nine breads a-breaking
        Eight guts a-groping
        Seven fuckers fishing
        Six elders scheming
        Four Pharisees
        Three martyrs
        Two tons of converts
        and an ergot so-oaked scribe in Sporadeeeees!

          1. Two references to guts…

            1) the well-known fondling episode, and

            2) and Acts 1:18, where Judas, instead of hanging himself, uses his filthy lucre to purchase a field, goes prancing around in it and suddenly tumbles forward ass over teakettle, bursting his midsection and spilling his bowels all over the place.

            They liked guts back in them good ol’ days, apparently.

  1. Years ago after reading it, I thought Revelation would make a great cheesy Hollywood blockbuster, and wrote down this wishing list for the cast:

    Jack Nicholson as God
    John Malkovich as Satan
    Bruce Willis as archangel Gabriel (who doesn’t appear in Revelation, I know, but what the heck)

    With guest appearances by Clint Eastwood as instructor of the apocalyptic riders, and Louise Fletcher as the snake in paradise.

    1. It probably stops him troubling their bigotry and hatred with awkward things like morals and poverty.

  2. And the epistles and letters to boot.

    All that “women should be silent in church” stuff comes from post-Jesus writings. (If you accept that Jesus was an actual person, which I think is about on par with accepting that Bigfoot exists and is living in my back yard.)

  3. … shoulld have had some weed too.
    A friend of mine who went into working for the Customs relates that they would get some of the “good stuff” diverted from the evidence locker. He took a liking to PCP (“Angel Dust”, a potent hallucinogen) sprinkled on top grade “skunk” cannabis leaf. He described it as combining the best of both worlds – “you’d be, like, tripping and dreaming that you were being eaten by ants – that’s the Angel Dust. But the weed wold mellow you out about this ; ants have gotta live after all, so let them eat.”

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