. . . or maybe it’s a Cardinal tweeting for him. At any rate, the old bugger is prolific: 7 tweets in the last seven hours! Go to @Pontifex if you must.
As Roseanne Rosannadanna might say, “Gee, Pope, you sure ask a lot of questions!”
The Pope finally tweets
December 12, 2012 • 11:01 am
This is the what Ratzinger does with the Exciting New Medium? The Pontiff’s Pious Platitudes, this Dribble of Drivel?
Religious or not, I’ve read more inspiring messages in fortune cookies.
And if God were really the “solid rock” that is “always beside us”, they would not have to keep reminding us of this over and over again. As Roseanne Rosannadanna might also say, “If it’s not one thing, it’s another thing: either we get nonsensical accusations of scientism, or the Pope is on Twitter … It’s enough to make-a-me sick!”
What a waste of good electrons.
Happily, they are recyclable.
But they’ve lost some of their potential.
And they are supposed to go into current matter, not static discharges.
Ha! I’m really getting a charge out of this. Oh, that’s revolting!
Not as revolting as a catholic poop tweeting.
These tweets look like they are computer generated.
I was unaware that the pope has a family though.
I was unaware that he had work as opposed to “a calling”.
It appears this “Lord” the Pope keep referring to is some sort of perv: “Offer everything you do to the Lord, ask his help in all the circumstances of daily life and remember that he is always beside you” First he wants everything I have, and then he becomes a stalker.
Wait until he discovers lolcats.
I don’t think lolcatholics is a possible alternative. “I can haz sausage in nun?”
Twittering the same nonsense makes it no more true. I will have to say that twittering claims like “God is always beside you” look so quaint on something like Twitter, when the next tweet you get could be about how someone died horribly.
The man is talking to himself, answering his own questions. God can’t get a word in edgewise.
Quite by coincidence I heard the first episode of the BBC’s “The Secret World” comedy radio program this week, which covers the private lives of the famous.
That episode will appeal to WEIT readers both through its coverage of Archbish Rowan Williamson learning to tweet, and also something about Prof Brian Cox’s appeal to journalists.
http://www.comedy.co.uk/guide/radio/the_secret_world/episodes/3/1/
I thought his first tweet would be some honest tweet something like “probably there is no god and heaven either live your lives”
How about: Ummm, errr, you know that limbo thing? Well, I have some good news and I have …”
57m: “Any thoughts on how to be more prayerful…?”
Matthew 6:5-6 immediately comes to mind.
4h: “We can be certain that a believer is never alone…”
No you can’t. And if you could be certain, then a nonbeliever would likewise never be alone.
This guys is none too bright.
Reminds me of that joke; You’re never alone with schizophrenia
Some excerpts from PubMed Health:
You are more likely to develop schizophrenia if you have a family member with the disease.
Hearing or seeing things that are not there (hallucinations)
Strongly held beliefs that are not real (delusions)
I like how when the pope tweets, it’s actually his social media guy tweeting on his behalf. So it’s like a game of telephone. Which is how the bible was written in the first place.
It’s the new trinity: Father, Son and Social Media Guy
Father, Son and Holy Ghost-Writer.
😀
😀 😀
Pope asks: “How can faith in Jesus be lived in a world without hope?”
Cheer up Pope. It’s not the end of the world yet. There’s still time to shed the shackles of your mind and think freely for yourself. The truth shall set you free.
And as statistics has it, we are getting better at that thing called “society” all the time. (Que Rosling and Pinker.)
Maybe Ratzinger is saying that we don’t need hope, because it is going well anyway? … nah, not “Mr-I’m-holier-than-thou”.
As the Onion article said, “400B tweets and not a single useful piece of information transmitted.” Statement stands.
Is “old bugger” a Freudian slip? :p
Term of endearment.
I know. I was being silly! (This post is filed under “LOLz” after all.)
I think a Freudian Slip is what he wears under his cassock. :p
My answers to those questions:
“Any suggestions on how to be more prayerful…”
Fuck no.
“How can faith in Jesus be lived in a world without hope?”
Apparently a lot easier than in a world with hope.
“How can we celebrate the Year of Faith better in our daily lives?”
By ignoring it. Any more questions?
“How can we celebrate the Year of Faith better in our daily lives?”
By hoping the next one is better?
“the old bugger”
I thought personal abuse was against “da roolz”.
You know the Golden Rule? The person with the admin rights makes the rules… or something.
Maybe Jerry’s trip this side of the pond has rubbed off on his vocal. That’s not personal abuse in Britain.
As I understand he is quite old among his peers of buggery.
“evidenced buggery”.
Regarding his comment about God, I am soooo tempted to tweet back “Which God would that be?”
OMFSM: he’s channeling `Mother’ Teresa!
“As Roseanne Rosannadanna might say, “Gee, Pope, you sure ask a lot of questions!””
They are printed in reverse order, so the one at the bottom is the greeting and then three questions are followed by their “answers” above them.
I can actually recognise the last (top) two as being a Christian version of karma yoga, the yoga of doing, which I always think is more practical than chanting, breathing or postures. Or as Tom Paine said “… my religion is doing good.”
It’s so much less cluttered if you leave the Lord out of it.
Jeebus Christ!
Would twitter not be a better way for god(s) to communicate rather than ancient manuscripts in dead languages.
We’ll have to wait a while for the Dead Sea Tweets to be uncovered.
Wonder how long it will be until Anonymous hacks his account…
Such wonderful banality! I particularly liked the one about about believers never being alone. Well, sometimes I like to be alone. I don’t know why the idea of someone following you around and listening to your thoughts is attractive to the religious. I think it would be pretty creepy.
I don’t tweet but Il Papa bemoans the demands of being so ‘busy with the demands of families’. Which ones? Let’s be generous; he ain’t referring to litigious paedo-victims.
Perhaps it’s the first fruit (and secondary, tertiary) of his loins. Now I know that the Middle Ages Popes weren’t beyond the habitual bit of rumpy-pumpy and the concomitant necessarious nepotism in carving out a Cardinalship for their nearest and God-fearingest.
But, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, how many families does Benny have? Perhaps, there is a good reason for stressing his third syllable.
Kinda OT in this thread, but I just came across this list of shit Leviticus says you didn’t oughta do.
Two thoughts occur:
1. How did anyone ever remember that lot?
2. We’re all screwed.
Actual tweet sent to the Pope:
Jesus Was An Alien@JWAA
I hear @Pontifex is on Twitter now .Twitter is 6 years old,so that makes perfect sense. #AskPontifex
@Pontifex might be limited to 140 characters, but he picked one odious character to celebrate his tweet nativity with: Rebecca Kadaga, who wants the Ugadan Kill the Gays bill passed as a ‘Christmas Gift’.
http://www.ugandapicks.com/2012/12/pope-blesses-speaker-of-parliament-rebecca-kadaga-19809.html
I’m sure @Pontifex can find another 139 similar characters with ease … perhaps he can flick through his rolodex.