by Matthew Cobb
If you are a bit tipsy when you read this, do NOT click on this link, for it will take you to eBay where there is a genuine stuffed polar bear for sale (not on auction – buy it now only. Also includes the interesting button ‘Add to Basket’. Here are some pics of the poor beast:
The site says:
Polar Bear – Taxidermy – Full Documentation Provided
£28,750
This beautiful beast stands at 7ft ( with Iceberg mount) and 21 inches wide. Has a ferocious glare that contrasts his soft and cuddly exterior.
we are fully compliant with DEFRA/AHVLA regulations and possess full documentation on this specimen.
Contact Seller for delivery options.
This item is not covered by Schedule 5 of the Wildlife and Countryside Act, or the Schedules to the Wildlife Acts 1976-2000, or listed on Annex A of the EU Wildlife Trade Regulations.
All items are carefully logged with full documentary evidence of provenance.
An Ethical Audit
Please note no animals were killed in the making of this shop. All creatures are long dead historical relics of another age, or zoo / pet / road kill deaths. Et rien n’est plus belle que la nature.
As committed vegetarians we believe that far more cruelty went into the manufacture of a pork sausage than into the manufacture of anything for our shop.
No “Drunk Ebaying” please, we take all all time wasting very seriously and we will pursue any prank purchasers with great conviction – thank you.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
h/t @alicebell and @olivia_solon on Twitter
Hmmmm….I wonder if that is the mounted polar bear that appeared in the movie ROADHOUSE; if so, I’m tempted…
…but then, upon reflection, I suppose I’d best use that money to complete my youngest son’s university education. THANKS for the alert on this opportunity, though!
Maybe that last warning should read: “No “Drunk Ebaying” please…if the original owners could force us to make good, we can do the same to you.”
Reminds me of that cartoon about a stuffed bear. Something about a hunter ambushing a bear peacefully drinking water at a river or something, and then having the bear taxidermied into a vicious standing bear? Kind of like this one…
That would be Gary Larson:
http://diablo.incgamers.com/gallery/data/500/far-side-bear-stuffed.jpg
b&
Ah, thank you. I thought about trying to find it, and then I remembered Jerry’s fearsome edict about embedded movies and images and shuddered at the prospect of accidentally embedding the image. :-0
🙂
Another Gary Larson cartoon, about polar bears, has always been a favourite of mine.
“Oh hey! I just love these things! Crunchy on the outside and a chewy center!”
Just Google the quote to find the cartoon.
http://www.peaydesigns.com/images/Coffee%20Mug%20-%20Far%20Side%20Polar%20Bear%20Crunchy.jpg
Did he have even a single cartoon that was less than brilliant?
b&
Not really. I cannot remember any except “top drawer” ideas and executions.
One that would fit the cat motif of Jerry’s site is that one with the cat pinned at the living room window, looking at two trucks that collided in the street beyond the sidewalk. One carried small birds and the other small rodents. So, so, great!!
http://i40.tinypic.com/ri6t95.jpg
b&
Brilliant! Ben, where do you find these? Is there a dedicated website?
Some vegetarians believe the strangest things. I wonder if they have stuffed and mounted pork sausages?
I don’t know about the mounting bit, but chinese-style pork sausages go great in a Thanksgiving-style turkey sage stuffing, along with roasted chestnuts and homemade sourdough….
b&
Definitely not! However, a butcher or hunter, for example would be a different matter, stuffed and mounted into a typical unnatural pose, of course. If ever one turns up as road kill….
This is strange: they clearly say that no animals were killed in manufacturing that specimen. Are you trying to claim that sausages don’t involve killing of animals?
Vegetarians may believe weird things, but when it comes to the ethics of eating meat, some non-vegetarians just beat them hollow at that game.
Not really that impressive a specimen, given its small size. Under 7 feet marks it as a juvenile male or average sized female. There is marked sexual dimorphism, moreso than in most animals, with a 2:1 weight ratio.
Big males are over 9 feet with the record at 11 feet.
Does that mean you’ll be holding out until a “proper” one comes up? 🙂
Looks like the polar bear in the Dover Museum in Dover, England.
What a polar bear was doing in Dover, I’ll never know…
Henry III reportedly received a polar bear from Haakon of Norway in 1252, that swam in the Thames on the end of a leash.
That sort of money would be better spent conserving live polar bears
“But….I was drunk!! I didn’t mean to buy it!”
How can that be an excuse for “buyer’s remorse”??! Never heard of such a thing.
Must be a British thing.
There was an incident or three a few years go where a bunch of different high priced items were purchased, and then the buyer claimed that they were intoxicated at the time while trying to cancel the sale, I believe.
$10 says someone clicks the Buy It Now button and then doesn’t pay. Seems to happen with all the items that have an article written about them.
Anyway, as far as buying/saving on eBay goes:
If you have a question about an item, go to another of the seller’s listings and ask the question from there. This will add a bit of work for the seller, if they want to add your question and their answer to the item description page. Maybe other interested buyers will not bother to ask a question, instead just continuing to look for a similar item that already has the question answered in the item description.
If you see an item that you want listed in auction format, send the seller a message asking if they will accept $x to end the auction early and sell the item to you. If that doesn’t work, use a sniping service such as Bidball.com to bid for you. It’ll bid in the last few seconds, helping to save $ and avoid shill bidding.
If there is a particular item that you want that is relatively rare on eBay or goes fast when one is listed, use ebuyersedge.com to set up a saved eBay search for it. You’d get an e-mail whenever a match is listed. You can use the price, category, exclude word, etc. filters to narrow down the results that you get in the e-mails. Excellent for “Buy It Now”s priced right.
If the item that you’re looking for is difficult to spell, try a misspelling search site like Typojoe.com to find some deals with items that have main keywords misspelled in the title. Other interested buyers may never see them.