Texas kids don’t know enough about fat

February 6, 2012 • 8:14 am

This picture was sent by alert reader Stan, who attests to its veracity:

Attached is a picture I thought you might find interesting – if that is really the right word to use.  Other more appropriate descriptive adjectives might be – geographically unsurprising or deplorable, maybe.  I’ll let you decide.  The picture was taken by a good friends’ mother who lives in Tyler, TX.  I sent it to a another friend who also lives in Tyler, primarily to see if he had seen it and if it was in fact accurate as presented – i.e., not photo-shopped, etc.  Here is his response:  “I am sorry to say, but this is about a half mile from my subdivision. Saw it and just shook my head. Nothing here surprises me.”  I have to ask myself, “Who would allow their children to attend this place after such an open display of ignorance (on so many levels)?”

57 thoughts on “Texas kids don’t know enough about fat

          1. Tyler’s just up the road from me. Been there a few times. It’s not the accent. Wish I could say it was.

          1. It seems this could be a re-interpretation of the New Testament.

            Philippians 4:23 “The grease of the Lard Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.”

            Scriptural evidence that, much like Elvis, Jesus went through a fat phase. This could be so revolutionary that Catholics may start passing out pork rinds instead of crackers during communion!

    1. Here in the Southwest, lard is a staple. Eat a few chips with salsa–chips made with oil and chips made with lard–you’ll abandon the chips made with oil forever.

      Of course your Doc might object, but what does he/she know?

  1. I dunno. That rainbow frame looks mighty suspicious to me! Are the kids being taught about lard alone? Or are they being tainted with “diversity”? (I predict a paint job.)

  2. I commented on ‘muscular Christianity’ in our library blog on Friday, but noted that despite the close connections between christian-inanity and sport (from the 19th C), St. Paul said “bodily exercise profiteth little” 1 Timothy 4:8.

  3. 12th most obese state in the nation. Mississippi is # 1 followed by Alabama, West Virginia, Tennessee, Louisiana and Oklahoma. It might be tempting to note the prevalence of the bible belt but note Mississippi, Alabama, West Virginia, Louisiana, Texas and Tennessee are among the poorest states in the nation. (Though Tennessee has less income disparity and is not in the top ten for rate of poverty.) The correlations between poverty and fat and poverty and religion do, I think, provide room for research. In the meantime, down south they are likely to keep saying “Praise the Lord and pass the butter.” (or lard)

    1. Like, “I am the Alpha and the Omega, ‘xcept I’m temporarily out of Omega”; Omega 3, that is.
      So now we know for sure the Lard is al(i)phatic.

      1. Perhaps they will use the lard to fry the piece of cod which passeth all understanding.

        I’ll get my coat……

  4. There are some dishes which are distinctly better with lard (including some cakes). Veggie oil just won’t do.

    Speaking church day care, I once saw a pair of churches with day care. The Protestant one was something along the lines of ‘happy days daycare’, while across the street was ‘Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrows’ daycare. Which one would a parent choose?????

  5. For all of the old timer punk rockers here, here is a little ditty from 1989 called The Power of Lard. “Lard” (the band) teamed up Jello Biafra, the former lead singer of the Dead Kennedy’s with members of The Ministry (Paul Barker, Al Jourgensen, and Jeff Ward).

    As a DJ at collegiate radio station, I spun this vinyl song from time to time.

    Strangely, enough the lyrics seems appropriate.

  6. This text should have been under the pic:

    “This picture was sent by alert reader Stan, who attests to its voracity:”

  7. One of my college roomates is now on the faculty here, which was improbable enough. When I inquired of what it was like down there, I was told about this, and promised a visit to Sodolak’s Original Country Inn if I ever came down for a visit.

    I haven’t taken him up on the offer, but I do believe that of traditional fried chicken, the best is probably fried in lard. (I prefer it dredged in flower/herbs and fried in just a little canola and with some water added – more steamed than fried.)

  8. This reminds me of the street preacher in the video game Dragon Age: Origins who keeps working food references into her sermons.

  9. ‘Ja notice that the I is an upside down exclamation point ’cause ever buddy knows a I gotta have a dot over it. I be know’n’ this ’cause I be stayin’ in a suburb of Tyler called Longview.

  10. My extended family lives in the St. Louis area and a lot of people there substitute the ar sound for the or sound (it might be a German thing). Horse therefore becomes harse, born becomes barn, for becomes far and, of course, lord becomes lard. When I attended my aunt’s funeral recently, it was all I could do to keep from cracking up when the priest stated that she was now “resting in the Lard” and had “gone home to the Lard”.

    1. Interesting. I’ve only heard that particular bit of nonstandard phonology from a guy from Evansville Indiana; wasn’t sure if it was a regional thing, or he’s just odd.

      If I lived in the St. Louis area, I might find myself working Fort Smith, Arkansas, into various unrelated discussions…

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